I just recoverd my memory ...............sort of
Every year I 'get back into the gym'. It's become an annual ritual. I look through my workout notes and I see where I start making progress again, life is good... then .. nothing.. blank. Months and months go by. Zilch ... Then later in the year or .. come January , I start over again. A vicious cycle that's reason.... escapes me . Until, this morning. A decade of 'why' just hit me. Hit me in the form of pain. A pain so deep , I can't sleep on my side. Literally, dreading having to somehow , get out of bed without screaming , after laying on my back for the last four hours. My back .. is back.
When my injury reappears, the pain is so friggn' deep, it takes me to a different place mentally. When I finally recover which normally takes more than a week to 'put it behind me' ( pun intended) .. the gym is usually the last place I want to go, out of fear of re injuring it. Then weeks go by .. months... I feel 'good' again. Not healthy .. but.. 'good'. Because I'm not hurting anymore. I'm convinced my brain shuts down this area of my life somehow. I've read a few notes I've kept over the years and one thing is common... my fear of injuring my back. It's a cycle I've been repeating for nearly THIRTY YEARS. It used to take me down / out , for three days. Trip to the doc for some Flexoril ( muscle relaxer ) , waddle around for three days.. and .. a week later I'd be back in the gym thinking .. damned.. that sucked. Repeat every 2 to 3 years. But , I loved working out back then. There was no other option. But the last fifteen years, that pain has become more unbearable; recovery time longer. And I've found it easier to stay away from the gym , the gym that can sometimes be the initiator/cause of that injury/pain. Interestingly, it's not the gym that solely triggers it. Its normally a 'twist' of the back while lifting something. Which ... I do a lot of in the gym! But , the injury has reappeared through non gym activities over the years as well. Problem is , I NEED the gym now as I've gotten older. And I don't enjoy it as much as I used to , so ........... hence a problem. And when the back acts up .. it's the LAST place I want to be.
So, here I sit .. unable to sleep, attempting to sit straight up as not to trigger a spasm. It's been quite a few years .... 3 .. 4 .. (?) .. since I really f****ed it up. I find myself thinking of that one now. That nightmare spanned five weeks. That five weeks were finalized by 9 trips over an 8 day period to my chiropractor in a desperate attempt to get back to normal. Since then, I've had some close calls but was able to get to Dr Todd quickly before they got worse. But all... have kept me away from the gym. A mental 'shutdown' of sorts to speak.
So, here I sit.. knowing, I'll be traveling to Rockwall to begin the process ( Chiropractor). I've got a major event coming up in 11 days that will task me physically; stress my lower back. Eleven fucking days. SMH. Just as importantly, I've been making big gains in the gym. Been filling back out up top. Pants fit better. Changed up my diet. .. and .. I can barely sit to type this.
Which is why I am typing this. I need to ensure I don't slip back into bad habits. Give way to my back, telling my brain , to stay away from the gym. Take away the stressors that trigger it. But, what triggered it this time? I wasn't throwing around heavy weights as I have in the past. But, I had just reintroduced two exercises. Cable lower back row and the Preacher curl. I did the lower back rows first, but... low sets, weight and used really good form. I didn't feel any stress at all that I recall doing them or finishing the exercise. But, during the preachers, I felt the tinge. Down low, off to the left of the spine. No way that exercise should have caused it? I believe that was about last Thursday or so. I immediately quick working out , so as not to trigger an injury. But, I've done both exercises since. Then , noticed the back getting sore using the recliner which doesn't give enough support ( I've solved that now, but .. too late)
So .. where to now. Dr Todd this morning, keep the diet in check , get in the gym and 'work around it' as soon as I can. My biggest worry .. this will be my final comment on this subject .. until.. six months later I say " I'm back in the gym!" .. with .. an apparent loss of memory of the previous six months... of .. this morning. Looking at my notepad in the gym .. wondering "what happened??" ......
That .. is what I need to prevent.
When my injury reappears, the pain is so friggn' deep, it takes me to a different place mentally. When I finally recover which normally takes more than a week to 'put it behind me' ( pun intended) .. the gym is usually the last place I want to go, out of fear of re injuring it. Then weeks go by .. months... I feel 'good' again. Not healthy .. but.. 'good'. Because I'm not hurting anymore. I'm convinced my brain shuts down this area of my life somehow. I've read a few notes I've kept over the years and one thing is common... my fear of injuring my back. It's a cycle I've been repeating for nearly THIRTY YEARS. It used to take me down / out , for three days. Trip to the doc for some Flexoril ( muscle relaxer ) , waddle around for three days.. and .. a week later I'd be back in the gym thinking .. damned.. that sucked. Repeat every 2 to 3 years. But , I loved working out back then. There was no other option. But the last fifteen years, that pain has become more unbearable; recovery time longer. And I've found it easier to stay away from the gym , the gym that can sometimes be the initiator/cause of that injury/pain. Interestingly, it's not the gym that solely triggers it. Its normally a 'twist' of the back while lifting something. Which ... I do a lot of in the gym! But , the injury has reappeared through non gym activities over the years as well. Problem is , I NEED the gym now as I've gotten older. And I don't enjoy it as much as I used to , so ........... hence a problem. And when the back acts up .. it's the LAST place I want to be.
So, here I sit .. unable to sleep, attempting to sit straight up as not to trigger a spasm. It's been quite a few years .... 3 .. 4 .. (?) .. since I really f****ed it up. I find myself thinking of that one now. That nightmare spanned five weeks. That five weeks were finalized by 9 trips over an 8 day period to my chiropractor in a desperate attempt to get back to normal. Since then, I've had some close calls but was able to get to Dr Todd quickly before they got worse. But all... have kept me away from the gym. A mental 'shutdown' of sorts to speak.
So, here I sit.. knowing, I'll be traveling to Rockwall to begin the process ( Chiropractor). I've got a major event coming up in 11 days that will task me physically; stress my lower back. Eleven fucking days. SMH. Just as importantly, I've been making big gains in the gym. Been filling back out up top. Pants fit better. Changed up my diet. .. and .. I can barely sit to type this.
Which is why I am typing this. I need to ensure I don't slip back into bad habits. Give way to my back, telling my brain , to stay away from the gym. Take away the stressors that trigger it. But, what triggered it this time? I wasn't throwing around heavy weights as I have in the past. But, I had just reintroduced two exercises. Cable lower back row and the Preacher curl. I did the lower back rows first, but... low sets, weight and used really good form. I didn't feel any stress at all that I recall doing them or finishing the exercise. But, during the preachers, I felt the tinge. Down low, off to the left of the spine. No way that exercise should have caused it? I believe that was about last Thursday or so. I immediately quick working out , so as not to trigger an injury. But, I've done both exercises since. Then , noticed the back getting sore using the recliner which doesn't give enough support ( I've solved that now, but .. too late)
So .. where to now. Dr Todd this morning, keep the diet in check , get in the gym and 'work around it' as soon as I can. My biggest worry .. this will be my final comment on this subject .. until.. six months later I say " I'm back in the gym!" .. with .. an apparent loss of memory of the previous six months... of .. this morning. Looking at my notepad in the gym .. wondering "what happened??" ......
That .. is what I need to prevent.
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