..... just stay in the car

 Hahaha... I crack myself up. Sort of.  My entire adult life, if someone was an ass wipe and wanted to throw down, I obliged them.  Well, I can remember two times I thought otherwise.  First was when I was 17 and a guy pulled out a knife outside the bowling alley. Whatever we were arguing over didn't seem important anymore.   I was like .. 'huh' .. and walked away.  Second time was when I was 25 and a car full of fux went road rage on us so we pulled over since we had a car full.  Problem was they were looking for trouble and all had baseball bats.  I was like "huh"  .. thought better of it all and drove away.   

Friday after dinner mama and I are driving south leaving downtown Greenville, doing the speed limit on Stonewall St in the left lane.  I was almost passing a camaro whom was in the right lane with barely a car length of distance between the two of when some fuk' in a jap car flew through the two of us almost hitting my bumper as well as the camaro.  Hell, I might have even flinched.  As he came up on us I saw him in the side mirror but thought no way in hell was he going to try.  He succeeded.  Shook my head and thought  .. 'that was close'.  Well, as we come around the corner he stopped at the intersection around Jones St.   One block further there is a red light at Park St and I find myself right behind him.   Huh .. must be my lucky day.  So, I sit up right on his ass.  Light turns green and we both proceed to take a left.  Well, the POS apparently doesn't appreciate me near his bumper after he almost took out my bumper, so he brake checks me .... and comes to a full stop in the road.  Well, here we go.

His door opens up and he starts to get out, so I of course do the same.  Within seconds we've closed the gap and fists are swinging.  Whole thing happened pretty quick and was over within minutes.  I threw a potential 'party's over swing', but missed my target.  Guy was 1/2 my age and smaller but the fucker was pretty quick.   I got him in a choke hold, but then the bastard grabbed my cap with military logos on it and well.. that was unacceptable so had him with one hand and grabbing for my hat with the other.  At some point we came around the passenger side, tripped over the curb and down we go.  Gets a lil murky memory wise for me here, but I remember tossing the fucker through the air from left to right but..... something ain't right.  I'm having trouble moving and can't figure out what the problem is.  Well, I pulled a hamstring in the mix.  Now I'm thinking... "hmmm .. we may have a problem if he figures it out".  Well, I've got a death grip on his arm and using my other arm to keep him at bay.  In a moment of clarity I ask him "had enough?  we done here?"   We release and now.. the fun begins.  The POS is yelling out I'm a racist and that's why it all went down.  Weird how that works since I had no idea he had a darker skin color than I until he exited his vehicle.  Well, I'm realizing I've got a problem so grab a highway signs' post and pull myself up.   In the mean time, he takes a snapshot of my license plate screaming he's going to call the cops, we get the phone numbers from witnesses that saw the whole thing....... and   time to go.  But that friggin' hamstring has me dragging my leg.

When we get home, mama is asking  'you going to tell the police?'  Well... what if that fuk' did it with his BS angle?  So, I reached out and gave them a statement.  Turns out a passerby reported a disturbance, but we were gone when they arrived.   So..... nothing came of it all.

Now ... what have we learned here today?

 First, do your STRETCHING exercises!!!!  LOL.   I never do them anymore.  Shame on me.  Back in the day with I took Aikido and Karate, we ALWAYs stretched prior.  Back in the jock days.. .always stretched.  Even in the gym .. stretch.  Well, I rarely do them anymore; shame on me.  That's my second hamstring issue in a month.  Guessing I wouldn't have any issues... if I did more stretching.

Second, my main vehicle has a dash cam but this Jeep didn't.  Shame on me; I'll fix that this week.  Maybe his ass would have seen a cell if I'd caught it all on video?  

Third, I'm too old for this shit.  Hurts!   My right hand is still swollen; I'd like to see what he looks like after I connected a few times.  Both hamstrings messed with me and one is still sore.  If I ever find myself in another road rage scenario where somebody fuk's with me, I'll park the ego and drive off.  If you can't drive off, put the 'pew pew' in your lap for backup and stay calm. Stay in the vehicle.  Guessing 99% chance when they realize they are being recorded and there are a dozen shells with lead in your lap ...   the situation will dissipate?

Sometimes in retrospect we think ... 'what if' .... had gone this way or that way.   I'd have one helluva story to tell if I'd connected with the first right I threw?  But... what if 3 other car doors had opened up as I approached.  What if the dumbass had been carrying (I left mine in the car for obvious reasons)?  What if.... well.. you get the point.   I'll stick with my three lessons learned moving forward.

works for me