The Great White North
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| Snowmobile Territory |
North? Cold ? "WTF Rick ... I thought you hated it up there?? Brrr!" When I headed to Montana over a week ago, I got a lot of questions like this offline and online. I'm very vocal on how much I love living down South. I'm fanatical about Texas. But, I've only lived here about 1/2 my life. Before that I traveled thanks to my parents and the military. Living in the tropics .. the desert... and traveling to 90 % of our states and to multiple countries, I know what I like. I lived in MN, NE and SD for a combined 13 years. I know I like it warm. Do I hate the cold? Hate the snow? No. Contrary to popular belief, I like it. I just don't like short Summers. I don't like crappy, lengthy Springs. I don't like freezing temps without a chunk of snow to go along with it. And, most of all ... my better half can't function in that crap anymore due to 'RA'. But when you get an invite to hang out with family at an annual 'event' ... sometimes you've got to jump in.
My brother n' law has teased us for a few years now with invites to join him and some of his family and friends for some snowmobiling in February. Now me .. historically ... I'd rather be on a motorcycle normally. That has been my thinking. Hell, still is my thinking. But at the same time, I hadn't been on a snowmobile in over two decades. Even then, never seriously. Just a few times to play. One day in MN we did a long run for dinner and drinks. But that was it. So at some level, I knew I hadn't really experienced it. We've spent a lot of time with Mike over the last year or so due to life events, and I've gotten closer to him. So, when he offered it up for '19, I was in. Initially I had mama' interested but her RA has been pissing her off lately and she chose to stay home. After the five days of 'fun' I just had; smart move on her part.
Travel is quickly approaching and I'm starting to over think this. Should I pack and check in a big suitcase with extra clothing to stay warm? Will I need a winter jacket? Should I bring my Heavy Duty winter/hunting boots. Mike quickly tells me to quit over thinking it all when I ask his opinion. So, for the sake of simplicity, I make sure I've got enough long sleeve shirts, a pair of long underwear and wear my work boots up there and a heavy coat. I over packed. I carried on a small suit case that I take everywhere for week long trips and had enough room. I'd find the temps in the 20s and 30s the whole trip, with sub zero temps on my last day traveling home. I was going to be renting all my gear upon arrival, so what else did I need? Nothing I'd soon find out.
Upon takeoff from DFW headed to Bozeman, Montana, I'm sitting about 3 rows back in coach, aisle seat as I normally do for extended leg room. There were over a dozen folks ahead of me on the upgrade list to First Class which I found strange. I'm thinking "who are all these f***'s headed up here with me? Hell, I was surprised at first this wasn't a puddle jumper flight; I'm on a 737 and it's full. Just a week prior I was on a similar plane headed back from Mexico and the mood on this flight is completely different. I'm on a flight where they all look like college prep boys. Uppity guys and gals with an attitude. You can sense it in the air. And then it dons on me; folks are headed up to go skiing. Still, why the attitude? I'll come to find out the area I'm headed to is high dollar. Million Dollar properties everywhere. Still, I don't' get it. Gotta' tell you , I like my Mexico flights where there is excitement in the air. Folks are cheery and having a good time. Guess the majority of people in the money need to learn to lighten the hell up? Who knows... After a couple hours we're in MT and we have ....snow. We have Freezing temps. And I'm in an airport that looks 1/2 wood cabin with the architecture, along with multiple big ass fireplaces throughout to keep folks warm. Am I in an airport or a Ski Lodge? I'm kind of digging this. Headed out the main door, I'm greeted with crisp cool air, blue skies and Mike and Suzi waiting for me curbside. We're soon headed from Bozeman to Island Park, Idaho on the edge of Yellowstone National Park. The views are amazing and I'm enjoying all 125 miles of the ride. Snow capped mountains. Snow covered ranges. Huge herds of elk. Small towns that cater to them rich f*'s on my flight? Haha.. had to throw that in. Couple hours later we're stopped at a place to pick up my rental gear; full suit, gloves boots and ... a POS helmet setup ( I'll soon realize). While standing there I see some hardcore warm snowmobile gloves with a camo pattern and thinking " wish I'd been wearing those on my bike a few times in the last few months".... so ... I snag 'em for future use; $150 set of gloves where my fingers will never freeze up again! Anyways.... we're back on the road and soon at our destination; a cabin in a small resort that caters to the tourists. You know, folks like me this week.
At the last two stores we'd stopped by I'd been getting amp'd up seeing new sleds (snowmobiles) at the stores. These look so different from what I'd been used to . Lil' taller and a lot longer. About 600cc's seems to be the norm, but here in front of me is an 850cc Ski doo I'd asked for; go big or go home? Once we get all my gear into the cabin, see my nephew Casey whom I hadn't seen in a couple of years, I meet his girlfriend... we're quickly donning gear and headed out to play.Interesting thing about living (or in my case playing) up North, if you dress appropriately, it's no
biggee. Dress incorrectly for the moment, and you'll be cussing and miserable. Not only was I toasty in this full getup I was wearing, but the newer model snowmobiles have heated grips. Hell, some have (not mine) heated seats as well (as do some modern motorcycles, such as Indians). Anyways, I get a quick newbie overview of the sled and we're all off and running. It's perfect weather out, and we're all on 4 sleds as we take off down a trail near us with Casey in the lead. Mike tells me he likes to run about 35 as an average speed; sounds about right as he says it. Within minutes Casey is up to 40...45 ... 50 .. 60.. .I'm losing Allison and Mike, keeping up with Casey. My ego is in play and this all seems simple enough. ....70. Okay, this is starting to feel.... fast. I'm thinking at this point it's going to be awesome week; I'm in my groove and this is all no big deal. I've been riding motorcycles for 
several decades. Ridden and owned PWCs ('jet-skis') ...4 wheelers, etc, etc. This should be a cake walk. Next up, we jump off the trail and hit a large open field with a few feet of snow and we're zipping across pristine snow, all of us hauling ass. Yeah, I'm digging this.... I've soon got this up to 77mph before I back out, grinning ear to ear. We couldn't have been out there more than an hour or so, and we're headed back. We're all chomping at the bit, but .. it's afternoon and it was just a quick play run. Soon as we get back and stripping down in the warm cabin, I'm commenting how confident I am and how good that felt, and remember also saying... it's probably all out of ignorance and I'm over confident and probably full of shit. Little did I know... I was. Still, we have a hot tub calling our names. A counter full of whiskeys and Scotches. And outside on the back porch were cases of beer, that would reside there all week staying ice cold , but not frozen, until we drank 'em down. Day one was soon in the rear-view mirror.Mike recently bought a cabin/home in the Big Sky area of Montana and we're soon loaded up with 4
sleds on trailers and headed that direction for about 80 miles. The elevation is rising from 7000 to about 8000 and my ears are letting me know. Hell, I'm actually starting to feel 'off' ; a little queasy which seemed weird. I'm sure none of the drinking the night before, had anything to do with it? Soon, we're in an area that looks to be un-passable road conditions so we're unloading the sleds for the last few miles up the mountain side. We're soon at Mikes place, inside getting warm, getting the tour and sipping a few brews. I've seen pics but they didn't do it justice. The view is over the top amazing. His main house (cabin) is perfect for the area. Off to the side, he's got a huge 2 story garage, that is an empty canvas, soon to be converted to the 'main house' with the original home to become the 'guest cabin'. He recently retired and this is his dream. I can't wait to see the progress on my return trip! Well, the views are apparently really bad ass on the other side of this mountain so we're mounting the sleds to head out into an area that has unmaintained roads this time of year. It's not long before we headed off paths that vehicles have traveled and into an area that looks untouched to me, though apparently somewhere below our sleds traveling over the snow is an unpaved road. My first clue this isn't going to be a cake wake is when Mike, with Suzi on the rear finds himself at the base of a tree sucked in by the angle and depth of snow .. or lack of. He's soon back on the trail and I'm thinking 'huh .. glad that wasn't me". As we're scooting along the hill side, with Casey in the lead , I can't keep the sled in the same groove and find myself off his path headed down towards a cabin and fence line, getting nervous. Staying in the throttle and manhandling the sled to turn ( if you can call it that), I somehow get back across through 'deep' snow up to where Casey is waiting for all of us.. My heart is racing, I'm breathing hard and thinking 'WTF?". This crap is work! Well, making a long story short it's taken us awhile to get to this point. Mike had to take Suzi back to the cabin because the snow is too deep and with no trails, they aren't going to successfully make this. Casey's GF Allison is buried and needing help getting unstuck. Somewhere in this gaggle ... we make the hard decision to head back. And to be honest, I'm more than happy. Allison has her sled turned around and headed back so I follow. Except soon, we're both buried and stuck. While they are trying to help her, I'm unsuccessfully attempting to get mine unstuck. I'm Deep in the snow up to my crotch, Sled's front end is buried and I'm gasping for air. I thought this shit was supposed to be fun? I had no idea how much work this was about to be. Eventually Casey makes it to me and gets it out and on top of the snow. Somehow, I eventually get my breath back and I'm on it... for a short distance. One of the ski's grabs some brush and I'm airborne over the front, laying on my back, buried in the snow. I never saw that coming. Not even the second time I did a replay. The fourth time I find myself buried, I'm spent. I'm exhausted. And sorta' freaked out trying to breath at this high altitude. I'm sure my body weight has nothing to do it. Or the stupid amount of alcohol we drank. No, must be the Sled's fault? I have to admit, it's been a LONG time since I had feelings like this of ... helplessness? How the hell was I going to get this sled back to the cabin? Allison and I finally kept them upright, moving and .... eventually out of the deep areas and back on 
the trail we came in on. When we got back to that cabin, I finally got my breathing back in order. Beer was tasting good. And in the back of my brain I was thinking " God help me the rest of this week.. wtf was I thinking !?!?" Well, after warming up and eating lunch we finally mount up and head back to trailer them out. This was simple. That hillside? Not so much. Once we're on the road, I'm enjoying the views. Knowing that hot tub is going to rock. Assuming I'm going to go a lil easier on the firewater this time. Yeah right.... one can hope? Day 2 is soon in the books and .. I'm beat.Day 3 would start off like every day this trip. Suzi is up and smiling. How can anyone be this
cheerful everyday? Her, that's who. She's cooking up bacon, then scrambling eggs. Every day, we've got more than enough and it's the perfect way to start the day. I should have brought some Tito's and Zing Zang; shame on me. About the time our bellies settle down, we're suiting up. Today, we're headed out about 25 miles I'm told to some falls that are spectacular. We're also reassured that this is via trails and not deep snow. Soon we're off and I'm experiencing what most folks do on snowmobiles. There is a huge network of trails in the woods and mountains that the sleds utilize. You'll be zipping along in the trees at 35mph and come across intersections with stop signs and a map on a post to help keep you from getting lost. Even though these are trails, some of them groomed, you still have to work it. Some of them get pretty narrow. When you meet another group coming the other direction safety is paramount keeping in your lane and using hand signals letting them know how many are in your group. The ruts make this a true workout when you come across them. Many areas have several inches of snow on the trails keeping it fun. And it's always a blast to jump in out and out of the trails onto the open areas with deeper snow. Some folks were getting off into the tree line where we saw a few stuck. Ha! I feel their pain! I'd find my biggest frustration this day was it was a bitch to see. We had a light snow falling. May times it was so wet, it seemed more like sleet. And my face shield kept fogging up. I found myself focused more on the sled in front of me sometimes than the areas around me keeping up doing 40-50 mph many times. When we'd stop , crack open some cold ones, I' was loving it because I could now friggn' see! Soon we were at the falls and it was nothing short of amazing. Working our way down the steps to the viewing edge was borderline treacherous though. First, with a several feet of snow on it , we simply sat down and slid down the steps. Then you found yourself standing next to railing that were as low as your knees or calves due to the packed snow. And it was a long way down if you screwed up. I must be getting old because after a few minutes and a bunch of pics.. I was done before something happened. Now, how to get up them steps? It'd have made more sense to chug the beer in my right hand and use both hands going up .. but... I did it one handed somehow. Wedge a boot in , grab the rail, then repeat. Several flights of stairs; I should have chugged it. Soon, back at the top, sitting on the edge of my sled , waiting for the group .. and enjoying the beauty and serenity of this park. Kicker is, we rode over 37 miles to get her. What happened to the 25? Still I'm loving this. I'm warm. Enjoying the beauty of it all. Enjoying the thrill of the ride. But for the life of me, I can't see worth a shit! Headed back we take a different' route attempting (unsuccessfully) to shorten the ride back to the cabin. Eventually we find ourselves at a gas station topping off and trying to figure out how to get back on the trail towards the cabin. Casey ends up taking a small path next to the highway, but it's a pretty good grade and about 6' high to get up on. He does it like it's nothing with Allison on the bike and I'm up next. Being cautious I take it slow but... stuck. Reverse it, get a better angle and 
momentum I go for attempt #2. This 850cc sled is a beast so I punch the throttle to make sure I make it and .. I stick it in the air and I'm 95% airborne. I'm told it was a beautiful take off. Looked pretty bad ass. Right up until I got off the throttle and dropped down onto it's side with me in the snow bank wondering how it didn't land on top of me. It'd been a great day until that moment. Now I'm having memories of the previous day. Well, eventually Casey and Mike get it flipped over, I'm out of breath and wondering "now what?". Casey has come back so his sled and mine are facing each other . The highway is next to them with a 7' 
drop off. Trees on the opposite side. Reversing it out isn't working. Casey gets on it, rides it on the ridge with the drop off, around his down and back , gets them both down to the road again . .. and I'm in awe. I'd told him the day before he was a stud and saved my ass multiple times. He just did it again. Even more so, I'm totally impressed with his skill set. I've already said it a couple times this trip and I'm reminding him once again. I'm outside my comfort zone. This is above my current skill-set. And we've still got 15 miles to go. Well, we soon find the trail continuation across the highway and we're off. It seems to take forever. We take a couple of trails over bridges that get my heart racing. We're in the woods, losing some light, and I'm wondering if we'll ever get back .. ... then up ahead; our cabin. You know , with the hot tub, the booze, beer and warmth? Yeah.. that one.
Day 4. I'm beat. After the previous 10 hr day riding, feels like I got the shit beat of me in a blanket party. Soon, I'm once again popping Ibuprofen and sipping java laced with Baileys. Today is looking promising. It's Superbowl Sunday, we want to be back for the game, so we pick an easy trail ride out to a restaurant/ bar, only accessible by snowmobiles. Temps are in the 20s and it snowed all night. It's snowing as we leave. And, I've figured out my face shield issue finally. I'm wearing sunglasses that would fog over. The outside of the shield is getting wet, so I'm thinking my issue is the two combined. What I didn't realize until after the first run, the inside of the shield was ALSO fogging, so I'm getting screwed 3 ways. So, off go the sunglasses. Once I get the shield wiped down inside and out, I change my breathing process. In through the nose, out the mouth only to keep the distance between my breath and the shield . Success. The only pet peeve I had is now solved. Now, I can see better. I can see the beauty around me. The snow falling. 
Day 5. I'm still beat. We've got to return the sleds by 1500 hrs. It's still snowing out there. Hell, I could have done without riding but .. it's the last day. That's why we are here. A couple of miles out there is a huge field we rode in during day 1, so we all head back out. It's playtime. The snow has gotten a lot deeper. The field is pristine. There are some woods you can go into. I find myself opening it up full speed, not paying attention to the speedometer this time. The snow was giving it an eerie background because if you took off a few hundred yards everyone lost sight of you. This was the ultimate playpen and we're all zipping around here and there. After awhile, I'm getting tired from trying to turn this damned thing when while taking a beer break, my nephew says " do you know what counter steering is?" Of course I do. Sheeeesh.. I ride motorcycles. Duh! He then says.. "you know you can do that with this, right?" Huh? WTF!!! I've been beating myself up for days and now you tell me? Hahaha.. as if it's was his job to explain the obvious. With my new found knowledge I head out to test the theory. At low speeds, no go. But at higher speeds, especially in deeper snow.. that's it! I feel like I'm riding my Chopper .... counter steer and 'push' it over leaning hard. Works! Not smoothly, but with practice it has all come together. I've also gotten better in the deeper snow understanding how to turn better and keep it moving. But I'm also aware, I'm still in way over my head and have a long way to go. The thought of burying it again without anyone to help me get it out... I don't even want to imagine. I've come around to the idea of 'trails' . Trails mean less work. Trails are fun. And they are beautiful, if you can see!!! But we're in the field today and I'm beat. I'm buzzing around counter steering... and .. I'm done. Soon, we all head back. Sleds are loaded. Boots are off... We've got a new bottle on Pendleton on the counter. Hey ... it's time.
Wow. Seems like I've been gone awhile. Been a blast. I'm beat. I'm tired. My laptop has been open and I've been working. My flight is in a few hours, 150 miles away. The temps dropped last night and we're now sub zero. For the first time, I'm missing Texas. Missing the warmth. Got my Great White North fix on , and ready to head back to reality. We're soon headed down the road with a trailer/sleds in tow and the snow is blowing. Many of the roads are iced over. I'm remembering all the years I drove on this stuff, going over all the memories. Sometimes I miss it; usually I don't. It's amazing you can walk around outside with just a long sleeve tee shirt on (short periods). It's cold out there and I'm digging it. Soon, it's hugs and goodbyes. I'm on the plane headed back to DFW where it's 77 degrees and humid. I'm in my own vehicle in the traffic mess of Dallas. Finally, back to the country living of East Texas. Mama is smiling. Peanut is going crazy. Yeah... I missed this. I'm home.
God Bless Texas
p.s. Note to Self: Bring own helmet and goggles next year
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