I'm a Bad Ass ............

Well, not really!   What did you think I was going blog about?

I learned many moons ago a simple fact.  There is ALWAYS someone whom is badder, meaner, faster, has more money, better looking, taller, stronger ... .. the list goes on and on.  So, ages ago I realized that most of it , doesn't really matter.  What do I mean by that?   Let me try to explain.

It's a Material World:

First of all, I don't play 'Keep up with the Jones.'.  I mean, 'who' are the Jones anyways?   Your neighbor?  Your buddies?  Your peers at work? I know a few out there are thinking " BULLSHIT!" .. But,  I've never been wired that way.  Never.  Now, I have been cognizant of the situation others may be in.  Several moments  in life jump out at me.  When I was in my mid-twenties, I was recovering from a divorce and a lil tight on money.  But it didn't stop me from being a party boy; amazing how we can always scrape together $20+ and head to the bar with the buddies in the evenings, night after night.  In any case, a guy I'd met that was to become one of my closest friends, had a new motorcycle and new car.   No big deal in the big picture but I do remember thinking "How the hell, did he pull that off??"   Nice Mustang GT pace car and a fast V65 Magna motorcycle.   I had my ten year old Dodge Magnum and a POS LTD440.  Well, not for long.  After my buddy let me ride his bike and I was on the prowl for something bigger.  But, the only thing that fit my budget was a Kawasaki LTD1000, which was half the cost of the Magna.  Now, saying all this it's important to note that I wasn't jealous of my buddies good fortune.  His good decisions. But, I was aware of his situation.   What it made me do, was look 'inside' myself.  What was I doing 'wrong'?  What was he doing right?   It became a stepping stone of lessons along the way.   Found myself focused on saving and focused on finishing my degree to move ahead in life.  Fast forward about ten years, and I'm out in front of our newly built house, washing my old truck ('75 Ford 4x4, if you're wondering).   But two houses down, were a couple that were lower ranking than I , but had two brand new cars in the driveway.  They were washing and waxing those two beautiful high dollar cars.  I remember thinking " Huh... both lower ranking.. new house , two new cars  .. huh...."   Now the answer was obvious to me.  No kids.   Dual Income couple.  Simple math.  But, I lived in an area where most were gone all day making a living.  Quiet area.  And these two stuck out; they were doing well.  Hey, all the power to them.  I'd been through a divorce, had a new kid, and was TDY all the time.  I was struggling around this time frame to make ends meet.  Point is, I was aware they were in a 'different' situation, that's all.   Fast forward to one final life event.  Guy I flew with was in his sixties (I was still military and he was a contractor), and I'd been to his home and  had bought a 72 MGB from him.  I'd caught a glimpse of the inside of his garage and had a lil' saliva dripping out of the corner of my mouth.  He had a 79 Silver Anniversary Edition vette in there, never titled.  Plastic still on the seats.  he had a 454 SS Pickup in there, mint.  On a lift in front of me, a '68 Camaro with 5k miles on it, that he was going through it , taking it to show car quality level.  This was his passion.  I had a little bit of trouble understanding it all, because I thought " screw that , I'd be driving them!"  and ... his daily driver was an old POS car that barely ran.  Wrap your head around that one?  But, its what made him tick and he was living his version of the dream........

As I remember a few of those examples, I find myself side tracked with a few thoughts, on a tangent.....   my buddy in the last part, in particular.  We need to enjoy life.  Not wait around.   A year or so after I bought that MGB, he passed away.  He passed away without driving the wheels off that Vette.. that Camaro, or the truck.   His wife soon afterwards, sold it all off.  Done . Gone.   For what?   Wrap your head around that one.

Material Stuff. Lets be honest, it doesn't matter.  Money, it could be argued, 'doesn't matter'.  Now, stepping back and getting off a pedestal, we all know that it does.  We've got one life to live, and we want to enjoy it.  To me, that means driving and/or riding, a vehicle that trips your trigger.   Living in a nice home that means something to you.   Though money 'doesn't make you happy', the lack of it , sure can suck and make one's life a little miserable.  But, chasing the dollar, and not being happy with what you have, is a formula for unhappiness. But hey, I'm not a psychologist; I just know what makes me tick.  What I've seen around me in my short 56 years in this world of ours.

So, back to the Jones'.  I don't keep up with them.   I do have a habit of pushing myself though.  It's the way I'm wired.  I was that way when I used to work out in the gym.  I was in the gym 6 or 7 days a week, hours a day.  It was my focus, my life.  I stayed that path for decades and decades.  I've mellowed out, and don't get into the gym enough anymore.  I used to and sometimes I wish I did still.  But, I don't.   I was this way when I got into Jeeps .  My first one, I got fanatical about it.   And since then, I've owned more than a few, always fixing them up, enjoying them, and .. .thinking about the next one.  When I got into NASCAR, I went off the deep end.   A few RVs  and Trucks later, I found the right formula.   I've attended dozens and dozens of races.   I've got a stupid amount of NASCAR paraphernalia; but I've finally calmed down and .... maybe, attend one race a year.  The icing on the cake is probably motorcycles.   I'd wanted one for ages as a kid, but never sealed the deal until I was around 23.  I'd own four different bikes, before 2009 when I bought my first Indian.  Now, It's become an obsession of mine.  I enjoy 'all' bikes, but I'm fanatical about the Indian Motorcycle Brand.  At times, it seems to consume me.I enjoy the history, the various generations of the bikes, and the camaraderie of many of the folks within the Motorcycle community, especially around the Indian brand.   It drives me.   There's no competition with anyone.  There is' no keeping up with anyone.  The crazy part is, I'm always looking for a 'deal' on one .. .. another one.   

There is always somebody out there that has more.  Whether it's more money, who cares.   My god, could you imagine being part of the top ... I was going to say 1%, but lets shoot for top .5%  or top .1% .   You know the multi millionaire bastards with multiple mansions.  Private Jets.   Ridiculous sums of money.   Most of us, probably none of us, will ever be in that position.  So, who cares?  We just need to be happy with ourselves. Our own situations.  That, should be our focus. That should be part of the formula for our happiness..   In the area of materialism, there will always be someone with a bigger house, a bigger car or .. more .. cars, or bikes, or ... you name it.  Who cares.   Do your best to get what YOU want , and screw the rest out there.  Me personally, I'm blessed to have more than one car and more than one bike, but I ONLY need one.  And I've historically gone after that ONE vehicle. It's only been in the last seven years or so, I've been able to move outside the 'norm' and have more than one bike, etc .  But if I had to , tomorrow, I could squeeze down to one bike .. one car.   Hey, it's all we need.   You know there's a saying out there within the motorcycle community: "It's not what you ride, but that you ride".  I get the gist of it all.  Sort of agree with it.  But, I have my own saying : " Doesn't matter to me what you ride, but it does matter to me what I ride!".  Point being, ride what makes you happy ; screw the others.   But do know, there are a lot of folks that have a tainted attitude.  You know, that your ride is crap to them.  Hey, it's your life, your attitude. If your head , is 'right', on the subject, then all is good.   If all ain't good, you need to dig down deep and understand what makes you tick .. or what ticked you off .. and get things right.

Enough of all the materialism hogwash.   Back to the title of this .  I'm a Bad Ass..

Again, I'm not. I typed that to simply get an attention grabbing headline; LOL.  Nothing more. Though I'm not a 'bad-ass', I can deliver a serious ass whooping , as necessary.  I grew up in the tropics as a minority ( no white privilege here!), and found myself in scuffles frequently.   In High School, after moving back to the CONUS, found myself in more than a few.   In the military, due to frequenting bars and for a short time, bouncing in them, I found myself in more than a few.   And, even in the last few years, I hate to admit it; been there done it.   Now, that all being said, I hate to 'fight'.  I'm not wired for it.   But, due to my size and my frankness, I've found myself in more than my share.   But, I don't care how 'big' you are, how 'bad' you are, there is always someone else... that will take you down.   And even if you are the 'toughest' in the room, it seems like nowadays, it's all too common for someone to pull out a knife or a gun.   And that folks is an equalizer.   And I'm aware of all this.   Historically, I've believed one simple thing.   The most pissed off guy in the room, has the upper hand.   You know, the husband that got cheated on by his wife, and now he's located the POS to give him an ass whooping ( of course, he forgot the wife was 50% of the problem). Or for whatever reason, someone is in a complete rage.  That , is the guy you have to watch out for.  That's not me.  I'm the calm guy.  Usually, the nice guy.  So, I'm at a disadvantage.   Hell, I find myself thinking about 1/2 the scuffles I've been in over the years.  The only reason I was in them, was I had a target on my back .  I was the biggest guy in the room.  Or I was the white guy, and not welcome.   Or, take your pick.  But I rarely was the guy with the chip on my shoulder.   And even if I've got that chip on my shoulder, which has been known to happen, at his point in our life, what the hell are you going to do?   We've got too much to lose!   As a 'mature adult'  ( i use that term loosely!) , we've got too much at stake.  Our careers.  Our homes.  Our finances.  Hell, our lives.   Is it really worth it?    So, basically we find ourselves putting up with a LOT of BS.  Why?  Because in the big picture , it's not worth it.  We're accountable for our actions.   Hell, as I look back over my adult life, I've been arrested twice.   Two times.   One for a light bulb out ( long story ) on my car, and another , for not paying a speeding ticket ( warrant ).  That's it.  No Assault and Batteries.  No DUIs .  Nothing worth talking about.  Now, I've got some great stories that I can tell that make one wonder how I've got a 'clean record' , but .. that's not for print, on the 'net!.   Point being, I've just the average "Joe Blow".      Which brings up the second part of this .  It's not just the most pissed off person you have to worry about, it's the person that has "Nothing to Lose."  You know the type.  The guy that is down an out, maybe has a record, thinks they are a bad-ass and , well.. is .. compared to the average person.   Or the person that feels like life has cheated them maybe .  They haven't made 'progress' in life ; working at a shitty job, family life sucks, etc . In their mind , they have nothing to lose..  That, would concern one.  Hell, does  concern me.   I'd prefer to keep my distance when possible.

Few years ago, I read ICEMAN, about Chuck Liddell's fighting life.   I was in awe.  Why?  For a simple reason.  The man is calm.   Reading that book, highlighted my biggest weakness.  I'm anything but calm.  When it's 'game on', I'm like a bull in a rodeo.  My goal is to get it over in 8 seconds or less.  For my entire adult life that strategy has served me well.   But I'm guessing that comes from an incident that occurred when I was a Freshman in high school.   I was a a tall, 150lbs (skinny) kid and was jumped by two Seniors that were big boys, because it was Haole Day in Hawaii ( basically they were extremely prejudiced against whites; Haole is the word they use for us).  When it was over, I had a broken jaw in two places.  That was a life changing event for me.  After that, I began working out, taking martial arts , and taking zero shit in situations (when possible).  I sometimes think that's what sends me into a physical situation (sometimes referred to as a fist fight!) seeing red, and taking no prisoners.  Interestingly though, I can shut it off when I've accomplished what I set out to.  I can walk away once I've proved my point; accomplished my objective.  Not every one can.  I've seen bouncers pummel the 'other guy', after a fight was broke up and they wouldn't stand down.   Whoops.  Sorry.   But I have to admit, I hate the calme before the storm.  Knowing it's going to go down.  Stomach is doing flips, blood pressure is escalating ( remember, I'm not the calm one ) .  I don't like to fight. At this point in my life, at this size, someone is going to get hurt.  Whether that's me, or the other guy, it's most likely not going to be good.   And that brings us full circle to my earlier comments.    We've got too much to lose!  It's not worth it.  So, I sit here behind my keyboard, remembering several decades of wild times, bar fights, scuffles, blood spilled over women, teeth knocked out over egos.  I sit her slinging the BS with my keyboard.  Wait, does that make me a 'keyboard warrior?"  Interesting question.  Maybe I should change this Blog entry today to that name?  Nah, doesn't sound 'bad-ass' .  I think I'll keep it as is.

 Not everything is 'physical'.  There's even another variation out there. Sometimes, we have to deal with other types of people in the world. Maybe, someone that is vindictive,  that has access to resources that empower them , at least mentally.  Maybe they have access to the legal system that the average person doesn't.   They have a family member that is a lawyer or a close friend that chose that profession?  Something like that , that allows them to inflict pain on the average person via "the system".   Hell, I've had to deal with a slight variation of this in the past.   Individuals with no remorse, that constantly do anything and everything they can to annoy you.  They know the legal system enough to work it against you.  And if they lose, they don't care they move on to the next victim, or the next situation , that brings you back into their BS world. I spent twenty years dealing with someone like this at different levels; only thing that alleviated the problem was his death.

There are all types out there.   Are they bad-ass?  Some, but not most.   Most are full of it.  But, know your environment. Know your enemy.  Know the stakes.  Reminds me .... I think I may need more ammo.  Wait, different subject or ... same? :)