BRING IT HOME; WORLD RECORD PARADE!
Funny thing. I'm not a fan of these 'parade' rides. I've spoken up about these time and time again after being in one back in '16. Hell, I'm not a fan of large group rides, riding with hundreds or thousands of folks you don't know. And yet, when you pull into the parking lot for 'The Ride' .. there's a tension .. an excitement .. in the air. It's no longer just you and your buddies or small group. You're suddenly in this huge group, about to take over the highways .. and .. feels good!
Back in '16 my bitch was simple. I'd realized the Guinness ride I was involved in was a Parade, not a Ride. What's the difference? Well in this case .... it's a short route ..say . 2.5-4 miles long .. that allows you to get a specific number of bikes out .. and back ... for the sole purpose of being .. counted. Now, it's more than that of course, but that's' the bottom line. I've got some opinions on that I'll share later in this but if you are putting this together, your main focus is to get a solid count of the bikes for submission. That's it. The trick is ... how you proceed doing that. Well, back in '16 I lost interest when I realized it wasn't going to be a 100 mile ride of hundreds of Indian Motorcycles. Then to top it off, the day I rode it was drizzling rain. Put a damper on the whole thing. The twist for me, I was asked to be a road guard. I was one of 20 or so. TWENTY? In Texas, the Police would do our blocking, but I was in MN .... After that parade that day, I swore I'd never do another one. And yet......
About six weeks ago I became aware of an HD challenge here locally to the existing record. That record is 2404 bikes, that was achieved back in '10 or so in the country of Greece. I have to admit when I saw that number, the first thing that crossed my mind was "that's it?". I've been involved in rides that had thousands of bikes. Folks that do the annual pilgrimage to DC talk about hundreds of thousands of bikes. Folks up north talk about tens of thousands of bikes. ROT down in Austin set a record for longest parade of bikes that was something like 13 miles long. So, when I did an Indian ride and the records ( initial record ) was about 265 or so .. I was like "that's it??" And I had that same thought when I saw "2404". But, things aren't what they seem. First of all getting an official count is not a simple thing. Take yesterday for instance. You've got to get a solid, no BS count of every bike in the group from Point A to Point B. Secondly, you have to verify they are a specific brand. At the baseline, it's as simple as that. Now, how you do that .. can complicate things. Do you bring in the Guinness World Record folks to monitor it all or do you acquire the data yourself and submit? I've heard the cost of bringing them in is $10k. I have no idea what the cost is for submission but I'm guessing it's $1k or more in itself. Okay ..... so .. what happened yesterday?
Well .. it's my blog .. so .. you've got to endure my preface to it............
About six weeks ago I heard about this at our monthly CVMA chapter meeting. I was shocked that it was less than two months out and I'd never heard of it. I mean, it's at a dealership just 70 miles from me in Paris, TX and the proceeds go to the Combat Vets Motorcycle Association. Those two facts tell me, if my schedule is open I'll be there. Still, I feel like a hypocrite; swore I'd never do another one! So the last six weeks I've put the info out there on several group and pages ... and support seemed minimal. Lets be honest .. a lot of folks don't 'care' about a record; not as much as you might expect. As the date came closer, I found myself watching the weather. All week we've having crappy weather; rain... clouds.. more rain.. clouds.. and Saturday looked like another rainy . Still short of a monsoon, I'm going; because the CVMA is the chosen charity. I've decided not to clean up the bike since the weather looks iffy. Hell, I haven't even rode the Road Glide since my El Paso trip back in June . It's exactly where I parked it. Well, Friday night as I'm getting ready to call it a night, I head out to the garage to make sure my rain gear is in the bags, etc. What I find is ... a bike dead; won't turn over. Battery is dead. Someone, I don't know who... forgot to plug in the battery tender. So, I quickly plug it in.. can tell within seconds the battery is trying to take a charge. Should be good to go in the morning. I'm up at 0500 before my alarm goes off, grab some java, head out to take my 'morning picture' with my cup and bike and.... .CLICK CLICK CLICK. Battery doesn't have enough juice to turn over the motor. F**K!!! . I'm new the new Road Captain for our CMVA chapter, I've planned the route for us to get to Paris. I've set times , etc, etc.. and .. my bike's dead. So, few texts to my folks begging for forgiveness, and ... I work my way to Wally World. I waited until 8ish in case they didn't have it and I could then hit the auto stores... but .. they've got a high dollar AGM 30XL there with my name on it. Problem is .. my KSU was supposed to be 0800. So now I'm on my 'own time'. I need to be in Paris NLT than 1200.. so for now, I'm stress free. Swapping out the battery should be simple (actually .. if you know what you are doing .. it is). But I soon find myself in the house watching a YouTube Video because I'm getting my ass kicked. I soon realize this Rubber/Plastic cover I can't get off just needs to be slid towards the front a 1/4 of an inch and it pops right out. Okay.. this is easy. Battery changed, the 120R barks right to life (I LOVE this motor!) and I'm smiling. Move Krome out of the way, back it out of the building, prep the cooler.. and .. time to get ready. Mark and Nancy Kennedy are rolling out with me. They'd decided to leave later vs my early KSU time frame so now we find ourselves on the same schedule. We connect up and ... .. soon pulling up to Paris HD.
On our ride out .. .you're sensing it. You see bikes here.. there... all headed the same direction. But not all are HDs. See more than a few Indians. Hell, Larry Kea is on his; he joined us for the ride in. Still, 99% of all the bikes are HD; that's the point of this ride today. As we close in visually to the dealer, it's awe inspiring. Road signs blinking saying this highway will be closed down from 1-3pm ( or something like that). Police cars are up ahead and they are directing traffic. And bikes.. bikes... .. everywhere. The dealership is overflowing. Restaurants and gas stations surround it are inundated with bikes. So we just pull into the grassy near the main area with many others, and hoof it over. We're pre-registerd as many others are. But, there are 2 lines to register, and 4 lines for pre-registerd to check in. And the line 4-6 wide .. extends off the dealership property onto the service road. WTF? It's noon, everyone should already be checked in ( per paperwork ) ..... and .. looks like we all just showed up. This is what happens when you are dealing with thousands.. not just a few hundred folks. Did I mention all the bikes? Yep... I'm smiling. Well, we luck out into finding some gal walking around with a clipboard with our names on it. We get a wristband and now told to take our bike through the gauntlet. Basically , you roll up to the dealership and they give you a number for your bike. My number at this point is 1386. There looks to be over a thousand people still in line still, so we should knock this record out easily. Hell, over 2000 were pre registered a week ago, and there's a huge line for folks to register. I'm looking everywhere for my CVMA chapter ( apparently they were about 40' to my right) but no go so we exit out and head down the highway, to loop back and find parking. We find it on the South side of 286, way across from the dealership. They funnel us into a large gravel/dirt/grass abandoned piece of property. Staring to feel old school. Only thing we can see from here is the dealership's sign way off in the distance. Soon, we've got just as many bikes here as they did 'over there'. I've got to give it to the dealership. They had cases and cases of waters pre-positioned for us over here. Before the ride, they'd show up to make sure everyone had a wristband and number on their bike. Hell, we were having our own little party over here. Was getting hot, I noticed a few guys to my left had a box of Bud Lights open and knocking a few back. Did I mention I prepped a cooler? Hey ... couple Shiner Bocks never hurt anyone; js. As we're getting closer to the start time, the sky was darkening up and we got a few light showers. Nothing silly, just enough to cool you off. Right about now, I'm wishing I'd packed a chair to be sitting on. Off in the distance, you hear motors roaring.. .it's time!
I was wondering how this was going to play out. We weren't privy to the route or anything so we're sort of in the dark. Lets see if I can explain it. They ran everyone through a single line, in the front of the dealership. This is where they guy with the counter, was clicking off for every bike. then they rolled down 286 west. They had all of us in our lot turn into the easterly lane which was shut down and rolled west to do a U turn and now face 'east'. This is when you first really got a sense of just how many bikes we're talking about here! I'm assuming all the bikes from the other side got in line before us ... .otherwise in my mind it doesn't make sense how they ran everyone through. But we couldn't see all that early on from our vantage point. Anyways, they filled up 286 on the south side ( going east) and rolled us down to the intersection where you did a U turn to your left, filed in for the count, then back on to 286 heading west. When this all kicked off the Police were at the front of the escort. For the next 10 minutes or so it was a bad ass sight! I mean this went on .. and on.... then after 10 or so, it started to thin out. I'm guessing this is the classic slinky effect with large groups. We found ourselves in line for about THIRTY MINUTES before you could see that intersection ahead. Point being this was a crazy amount of bikes and appeared to be several thousand at least. Finally, we get to the intersection, do the U and .. okay .. no big deal for me. And no big deal for most. But why is it.. some folks just can not .. handle a bike? Anytime I'm on a ride with a few dozen folks, there is always that one person that appears to be an amateur and just got their license the day before. And now.. the f***er is riding next to me. There were lots of 'em .. hence the slow going. But .. I digress... I quickly do a U and slide in, get counted .. and .. we're rolling up to speed. This Video gives you a good perspective of how it all played out.The START
Now at this point, I thought we'd just jumped over the one major hurdle and it was easy street all the way to Grant, Oklahoma up 271 which is just ahead. But, I'd heard rumors they were going to 'count us ' all several miles up. I assumed that would be on 271.... just not sure how they'd pull that off. I was wrong. The first off ramp ahead they have us pulling off. All those bikes that we'd watched for the last 30 minutes ... .. are now lined up in front of us. Basically, they are running us through an area that passes next to a school with some turns here and there, and counting folks as they exit the area, which allows us now to get on 271 and head North. And this .. is where in my opinion the whole exercise fell apart. We found ourselves putting along for at least another 45 minutes. Folks on Indian's complain about the TS111's heat. If they'd been in this they've have burned their crotches; literally. This went on.. and on.. and on. I started watching my engine temps slowly rise... 220 .. 230....240... Up ahead I see a bike go over. I think the older guy on the orange Street Glide is having heat issues ( himself, not the bike). They get it over to the side and we continue as a few folks are caring for him. Another few blocks and another bike is having issues. I swear my motor is starting to sound different....250 deg... guy in front of me jumps out of line and into a parking lot. Well, fifteen minutes later we're in an area with parking on either side .. big ol' pine trees ... and my temp is now 265 and climbing.... f' it. Quickly pull over and back it in. Mark and Nancy had the same idea simultaneously. Though my bike will cool down, it will find it's way to 300 before we finally get on 271. Anyways, I've got one more cold one in there calling my name. Now we are in an audience mode, watching others go by.... people getting pissed.. bikes acting up. We hear a god awful noise across from us; turns out the guys started is grinding and gave up the ghost This was the area they funneled us through THE DELAY. . As I'm sitting back against a pine tree enjoying my Shiner... I see another one....... a..
When this ride was being advertised, you'd be surprised how many people would chime in and say "how come only HDs!!!? Why not xxxx ?" .. Well, dumbass .. because it's an HD Guinness Record Ride! Really? Anyways, they advertised this as "all bikes!" .. but HDs would be at the front , and 'other's' .. at the rear... so the ride could be officially counted. I thought that was actually a good idea. It wasn't .. here's why. When we lined up on 286, I saw a white metric cruiser roll in with the folks. The guy had a wrist band. He had a number on this bike. I was thinking "WTF?!?!" Soon after a yellow custom chopper.. same thing. If I'd been back by them I'd have called them out.. verified. But they were gone into the mix. Now I'm sitting here sipping my beer and I see another metric. Even Saw an Indian. What has happened now is ... as we get to the end.. people have pulled over, but the folks that may have been at the rear are working their way up. So right now... I know for a fact.. this is NOT a valid ride. I can't explain the feeling in my stomach. I'm pissed.. disappointed. I know now .. that when this gets announced we had over 2404 bikes... a new record.. that actually .. it's BS. Now .. I just want to get out of this heat factory and onto the Casino. So, the Kennedy's and I mount up the bikes and not a few hundred yards ahead.. .. we're counted out and on the road. As I turn onto 271, my HD's motor is at 300 deg and climbing. I need some air over the fins... creep up to 70mph .. and she finally .. starts to cool down. THE EXIT POINT
One of the cool things about his Parade was there were bystanders everywhere! Cars honking their horns... folks kicking back in their lawn chairs waving. As we're rolling up 271 for the next five miles... waves... American Flags... people taking pictures and recording Video. Had to be a helluva sight for them. For me, I'm now overthinking the whole thing... what would I have done different. How would I make it better. I'm armchair quarterbacking this. An expert in my own mind with 2 of these under my belt! Up ahead I see 1/2 dozen bikes. Few lights behind me. Our parade is no longer a parade; we're completely spread out. We're now on a 20 mile ride to Oklahoma. As we pull up to the Casino, it's a beautiful sight; I wish I'd taken a good picture of it.... Thousands ( okay.. maybe 1.5 thousand) are in a partitioned off parking area. We've made it here without getting rained on the entire time we were rolling on the bike... success! So, I store my handgun in the saddlebag , lock it up ... and thinking... 'you know what, I'm ready to relax have a cold one .. and maybe.. maybe.. do some gambling!" . We're headed over to meet Larry ( who brilliantly came here just before the ride began); ready to start phase II of the day. As I always do, I do a pocket check. Make sure my keys .. my phone .. my wallet .... and .. we've got a problem. My wallet is not on me. Yes, I'm now in a mini-panic state. I've got a large amount of cash in there, but all my credit cards.. my IDs ... you name it.... are in that damned thing. And it's gone. I'd taken off my vest earlier in the overflow lot and put in in my bag, then back on for the ride. Mark points out ... it's probably in that bag. Head back to the bike; it's not. This is a sickening feeling. It's been decades since this has happened to me. We head into the Casino and Mark's offered to buy me Dinner. But, we've got a huge line for the restaurant and ... in my own words that I tell them.. .I've lost my mojo. I can't help but think it's out there somewhere. Maybe someone turned it into the dealership? Maybe I left it at the gas station. Deep down , I know it's gone but I'm hoping someone just took the cash and put the wallet and the cards in an envelope and mailed it to me. I'd be okay with that. So, I say my goodbyes and head out to retrace my steps. First stop is the overflow area. What a shit hole this looks like now that it's empty. It's easy to find where we were parked due to some wood piles off to the side. There had to be a 1000+ bikes in this lot. I'd put on my vest just as we were starting our motors up. We were all doing the same process. I'm guessing 95% of the people in that lot would return my wallet. You're always going to have someone that feels like they won the lottery. Kick stand down, and I'm sulking like a whiny puppy when .... in total disbelief .. I'm staring at my wallet on the ground. I can see some greenbacks visible on the edge. Open it up and all my cards are in there. Something to be said about carrying a distressed brown Indian embossed wallet that blends into the dirt and brown grass near a wood pile? BAM BABY!. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find it. My guess is everyone was pumped and focused on exiting this area and not looking down . I thought this was going to be an expensive day. Now, I'm back to smiling again and forgotten for now, how brutal that parade ride was just a few hours earlier. Now, do I head back to Casino? No... I've got Peanut back at the house waiting for me.. and... those clouds are getting darker.
Short of riding through a tornado, there's not a lot that can dampen my spirits at this point. Still, South of me and West of me, the sky is friggn' dark. But between the two.... where I live.. looks .. like a possibility. At this point , I'm naive enough to think I can stay dry. Foolish enough to take a route that has twistie two lanes. I'm trying to make the best of it. But mother nature has other ideas. Soon, I'm donning my rain gear. The wetter it gets I start changing my route. When I hit Sulphur Springs, I even jumped on the Interstate, got it up to 80 in the rain, outrunning the crap that was worse trying to catch me. With soaked pants from ankle to knees .. .. I'm home. Another one in the history books. Normally, this is where I'd say say .. " I'LL NEVER DO ANOTHER OF THESE !" .. but .. I know that's not true. So instead, a Lessons' Learned. Lets' call it "Ricky's Perfect Parade"
Registration: Get everyone pre-registerd, as much as possible. But putting them back in another line, negates the value.
Assembly area. Single area, large enough to accommodate the bikes. This ensures the group can exit smoothly and continue as a true group/ parade.
Route: Choose a route that allows folks to actually ride, without needed to stop. A route where folks won't end up walking their bikes through it. Use the local police force. Worst case position folks to block traffic that are NOT on bikes ( I'm not sure if this is legal, but just making a point on blocking traffic). Back in '16 my Brother 'Dick' designed the route and it flowed excellent for the small number of bikes.. Same Start / Stop point
Destination: Pick a spot with a similar size lot you started from, or .. return to origination point.
Brand of Bike. If this is a specific brand related ride, do not let others in. Sorry if your wife or hubby or best friend rides a diff' brand. Get over it. If the purpose of the ride is to promote a specific brand or set a record... then ONLY that brand should be riding in it.. period.. front .. back .. whatever. No 'nice guy' and say .. ."others can ride in the rear". Tough Shit. Not an option.
Length of Ride. Here's the tough one. Longer is better. No one wants to putt around for 2.5 miles!!! IMHO.. what they should have done yesterday was taken us ALL the way ... to the casino .. in a 50mph Parade. That would have been a thousand times better than the way it went down. I understand the reasons not to.. but in this specific case.. they f'd up. We should have. And had we.... the final tally results probably would have been different.
So .. never say never?
Back in '16 my bitch was simple. I'd realized the Guinness ride I was involved in was a Parade, not a Ride. What's the difference? Well in this case .... it's a short route ..say . 2.5-4 miles long .. that allows you to get a specific number of bikes out .. and back ... for the sole purpose of being .. counted. Now, it's more than that of course, but that's' the bottom line. I've got some opinions on that I'll share later in this but if you are putting this together, your main focus is to get a solid count of the bikes for submission. That's it. The trick is ... how you proceed doing that. Well, back in '16 I lost interest when I realized it wasn't going to be a 100 mile ride of hundreds of Indian Motorcycles. Then to top it off, the day I rode it was drizzling rain. Put a damper on the whole thing. The twist for me, I was asked to be a road guard. I was one of 20 or so. TWENTY? In Texas, the Police would do our blocking, but I was in MN .... After that parade that day, I swore I'd never do another one. And yet......
About six weeks ago I became aware of an HD challenge here locally to the existing record. That record is 2404 bikes, that was achieved back in '10 or so in the country of Greece. I have to admit when I saw that number, the first thing that crossed my mind was "that's it?". I've been involved in rides that had thousands of bikes. Folks that do the annual pilgrimage to DC talk about hundreds of thousands of bikes. Folks up north talk about tens of thousands of bikes. ROT down in Austin set a record for longest parade of bikes that was something like 13 miles long. So, when I did an Indian ride and the records ( initial record ) was about 265 or so .. I was like "that's it??" And I had that same thought when I saw "2404". But, things aren't what they seem. First of all getting an official count is not a simple thing. Take yesterday for instance. You've got to get a solid, no BS count of every bike in the group from Point A to Point B. Secondly, you have to verify they are a specific brand. At the baseline, it's as simple as that. Now, how you do that .. can complicate things. Do you bring in the Guinness World Record folks to monitor it all or do you acquire the data yourself and submit? I've heard the cost of bringing them in is $10k. I have no idea what the cost is for submission but I'm guessing it's $1k or more in itself. Okay ..... so .. what happened yesterday?
Well .. it's my blog .. so .. you've got to endure my preface to it............
About six weeks ago I heard about this at our monthly CVMA chapter meeting. I was shocked that it was less than two months out and I'd never heard of it. I mean, it's at a dealership just 70 miles from me in Paris, TX and the proceeds go to the Combat Vets Motorcycle Association. Those two facts tell me, if my schedule is open I'll be there. Still, I feel like a hypocrite; swore I'd never do another one! So the last six weeks I've put the info out there on several group and pages ... and support seemed minimal. Lets be honest .. a lot of folks don't 'care' about a record; not as much as you might expect. As the date came closer, I found myself watching the weather. All week we've having crappy weather; rain... clouds.. more rain.. clouds.. and Saturday looked like another rainy . Still short of a monsoon, I'm going; because the CVMA is the chosen charity. I've decided not to clean up the bike since the weather looks iffy. Hell, I haven't even rode the Road Glide since my El Paso trip back in June . It's exactly where I parked it. Well, Friday night as I'm getting ready to call it a night, I head out to the garage to make sure my rain gear is in the bags, etc. What I find is ... a bike dead; won't turn over. Battery is dead. Someone, I don't know who... forgot to plug in the battery tender. So, I quickly plug it in.. can tell within seconds the battery is trying to take a charge. Should be good to go in the morning. I'm up at 0500 before my alarm goes off, grab some java, head out to take my 'morning picture' with my cup and bike and.... .CLICK CLICK CLICK. Battery doesn't have enough juice to turn over the motor. F**K!!! . I'm new the new Road Captain for our CMVA chapter, I've planned the route for us to get to Paris. I've set times , etc, etc.. and .. my bike's dead. So, few texts to my folks begging for forgiveness, and ... I work my way to Wally World. I waited until 8ish in case they didn't have it and I could then hit the auto stores... but .. they've got a high dollar AGM 30XL there with my name on it. Problem is .. my KSU was supposed to be 0800. So now I'm on my 'own time'. I need to be in Paris NLT than 1200.. so for now, I'm stress free. Swapping out the battery should be simple (actually .. if you know what you are doing .. it is). But I soon find myself in the house watching a YouTube Video because I'm getting my ass kicked. I soon realize this Rubber/Plastic cover I can't get off just needs to be slid towards the front a 1/4 of an inch and it pops right out. Okay.. this is easy. Battery changed, the 120R barks right to life (I LOVE this motor!) and I'm smiling. Move Krome out of the way, back it out of the building, prep the cooler.. and .. time to get ready. Mark and Nancy Kennedy are rolling out with me. They'd decided to leave later vs my early KSU time frame so now we find ourselves on the same schedule. We connect up and ... .. soon pulling up to Paris HD.
On our ride out .. .you're sensing it. You see bikes here.. there... all headed the same direction. But not all are HDs. See more than a few Indians. Hell, Larry Kea is on his; he joined us for the ride in. Still, 99% of all the bikes are HD; that's the point of this ride today. As we close in visually to the dealer, it's awe inspiring. Road signs blinking saying this highway will be closed down from 1-3pm ( or something like that). Police cars are up ahead and they are directing traffic. And bikes.. bikes... .. everywhere. The dealership is overflowing. Restaurants and gas stations surround it are inundated with bikes. So we just pull into the grassy near the main area with many others, and hoof it over. We're pre-registerd as many others are. But, there are 2 lines to register, and 4 lines for pre-registerd to check in. And the line 4-6 wide .. extends off the dealership property onto the service road. WTF? It's noon, everyone should already be checked in ( per paperwork ) ..... and .. looks like we all just showed up. This is what happens when you are dealing with thousands.. not just a few hundred folks. Did I mention all the bikes? Yep... I'm smiling. Well, we luck out into finding some gal walking around with a clipboard with our names on it. We get a wristband and now told to take our bike through the gauntlet. Basically , you roll up to the dealership and they give you a number for your bike. My number at this point is 1386. There looks to be over a thousand people still in line still, so we should knock this record out easily. Hell, over 2000 were pre registered a week ago, and there's a huge line for folks to register. I'm looking everywhere for my CVMA chapter ( apparently they were about 40' to my right) but no go so we exit out and head down the highway, to loop back and find parking. We find it on the South side of 286, way across from the dealership. They funnel us into a large gravel/dirt/grass abandoned piece of property. Staring to feel old school. Only thing we can see from here is the dealership's sign way off in the distance. Soon, we've got just as many bikes here as they did 'over there'. I've got to give it to the dealership. They had cases and cases of waters pre-positioned for us over here. Before the ride, they'd show up to make sure everyone had a wristband and number on their bike. Hell, we were having our own little party over here. Was getting hot, I noticed a few guys to my left had a box of Bud Lights open and knocking a few back. Did I mention I prepped a cooler? Hey ... couple Shiner Bocks never hurt anyone; js. As we're getting closer to the start time, the sky was darkening up and we got a few light showers. Nothing silly, just enough to cool you off. Right about now, I'm wishing I'd packed a chair to be sitting on. Off in the distance, you hear motors roaring.. .it's time!
I was wondering how this was going to play out. We weren't privy to the route or anything so we're sort of in the dark. Lets see if I can explain it. They ran everyone through a single line, in the front of the dealership. This is where they guy with the counter, was clicking off for every bike. then they rolled down 286 west. They had all of us in our lot turn into the easterly lane which was shut down and rolled west to do a U turn and now face 'east'. This is when you first really got a sense of just how many bikes we're talking about here! I'm assuming all the bikes from the other side got in line before us ... .otherwise in my mind it doesn't make sense how they ran everyone through. But we couldn't see all that early on from our vantage point. Anyways, they filled up 286 on the south side ( going east) and rolled us down to the intersection where you did a U turn to your left, filed in for the count, then back on to 286 heading west. When this all kicked off the Police were at the front of the escort. For the next 10 minutes or so it was a bad ass sight! I mean this went on .. and on.... then after 10 or so, it started to thin out. I'm guessing this is the classic slinky effect with large groups. We found ourselves in line for about THIRTY MINUTES before you could see that intersection ahead. Point being this was a crazy amount of bikes and appeared to be several thousand at least. Finally, we get to the intersection, do the U and .. okay .. no big deal for me. And no big deal for most. But why is it.. some folks just can not .. handle a bike? Anytime I'm on a ride with a few dozen folks, there is always that one person that appears to be an amateur and just got their license the day before. And now.. the f***er is riding next to me. There were lots of 'em .. hence the slow going. But .. I digress... I quickly do a U and slide in, get counted .. and .. we're rolling up to speed. This Video gives you a good perspective of how it all played out.
Now at this point, I thought we'd just jumped over the one major hurdle and it was easy street all the way to Grant, Oklahoma up 271 which is just ahead. But, I'd heard rumors they were going to 'count us ' all several miles up. I assumed that would be on 271.... just not sure how they'd pull that off. I was wrong. The first off ramp ahead they have us pulling off. All those bikes that we'd watched for the last 30 minutes ... .. are now lined up in front of us. Basically, they are running us through an area that passes next to a school with some turns here and there, and counting folks as they exit the area, which allows us now to get on 271 and head North. And this .. is where in my opinion the whole exercise fell apart. We found ourselves putting along for at least another 45 minutes. Folks on Indian's complain about the TS111's heat. If they'd been in this they've have burned their crotches; literally. This went on.. and on.. and on. I started watching my engine temps slowly rise... 220 .. 230....240... Up ahead I see a bike go over. I think the older guy on the orange Street Glide is having heat issues ( himself, not the bike). They get it over to the side and we continue as a few folks are caring for him. Another few blocks and another bike is having issues. I swear my motor is starting to sound different....250 deg... guy in front of me jumps out of line and into a parking lot. Well, fifteen minutes later we're in an area with parking on either side .. big ol' pine trees ... and my temp is now 265 and climbing.... f' it. Quickly pull over and back it in. Mark and Nancy had the same idea simultaneously. Though my bike will cool down, it will find it's way to 300 before we finally get on 271. Anyways, I've got one more cold one in there calling my name. Now we are in an audience mode, watching others go by.... people getting pissed.. bikes acting up. We hear a god awful noise across from us; turns out the guys started is grinding and gave up the ghost This was the area they funneled us through THE DELAY. . As I'm sitting back against a pine tree enjoying my Shiner... I see another one....... a..
When this ride was being advertised, you'd be surprised how many people would chime in and say "how come only HDs!!!? Why not xxxx ?" .. Well, dumbass .. because it's an HD Guinness Record Ride! Really? Anyways, they advertised this as "all bikes!" .. but HDs would be at the front , and 'other's' .. at the rear... so the ride could be officially counted. I thought that was actually a good idea. It wasn't .. here's why. When we lined up on 286, I saw a white metric cruiser roll in with the folks. The guy had a wrist band. He had a number on this bike. I was thinking "WTF?!?!" Soon after a yellow custom chopper.. same thing. If I'd been back by them I'd have called them out.. verified. But they were gone into the mix. Now I'm sitting here sipping my beer and I see another metric. Even Saw an Indian. What has happened now is ... as we get to the end.. people have pulled over, but the folks that may have been at the rear are working their way up. So right now... I know for a fact.. this is NOT a valid ride. I can't explain the feeling in my stomach. I'm pissed.. disappointed. I know now .. that when this gets announced we had over 2404 bikes... a new record.. that actually .. it's BS. Now .. I just want to get out of this heat factory and onto the Casino. So, the Kennedy's and I mount up the bikes and not a few hundred yards ahead.. .. we're counted out and on the road. As I turn onto 271, my HD's motor is at 300 deg and climbing. I need some air over the fins... creep up to 70mph .. and she finally .. starts to cool down. THE EXIT POINT
One of the cool things about his Parade was there were bystanders everywhere! Cars honking their horns... folks kicking back in their lawn chairs waving. As we're rolling up 271 for the next five miles... waves... American Flags... people taking pictures and recording Video. Had to be a helluva sight for them. For me, I'm now overthinking the whole thing... what would I have done different. How would I make it better. I'm armchair quarterbacking this. An expert in my own mind with 2 of these under my belt! Up ahead I see 1/2 dozen bikes. Few lights behind me. Our parade is no longer a parade; we're completely spread out. We're now on a 20 mile ride to Oklahoma. As we pull up to the Casino, it's a beautiful sight; I wish I'd taken a good picture of it.... Thousands ( okay.. maybe 1.5 thousand) are in a partitioned off parking area. We've made it here without getting rained on the entire time we were rolling on the bike... success! So, I store my handgun in the saddlebag , lock it up ... and thinking... 'you know what, I'm ready to relax have a cold one .. and maybe.. maybe.. do some gambling!" . We're headed over to meet Larry ( who brilliantly came here just before the ride began); ready to start phase II of the day. As I always do, I do a pocket check. Make sure my keys .. my phone .. my wallet .... and .. we've got a problem. My wallet is not on me. Yes, I'm now in a mini-panic state. I've got a large amount of cash in there, but all my credit cards.. my IDs ... you name it.... are in that damned thing. And it's gone. I'd taken off my vest earlier in the overflow lot and put in in my bag, then back on for the ride. Mark points out ... it's probably in that bag. Head back to the bike; it's not. This is a sickening feeling. It's been decades since this has happened to me. We head into the Casino and Mark's offered to buy me Dinner. But, we've got a huge line for the restaurant and ... in my own words that I tell them.. .I've lost my mojo. I can't help but think it's out there somewhere. Maybe someone turned it into the dealership? Maybe I left it at the gas station. Deep down , I know it's gone but I'm hoping someone just took the cash and put the wallet and the cards in an envelope and mailed it to me. I'd be okay with that. So, I say my goodbyes and head out to retrace my steps. First stop is the overflow area. What a shit hole this looks like now that it's empty. It's easy to find where we were parked due to some wood piles off to the side. There had to be a 1000+ bikes in this lot. I'd put on my vest just as we were starting our motors up. We were all doing the same process. I'm guessing 95% of the people in that lot would return my wallet. You're always going to have someone that feels like they won the lottery. Kick stand down, and I'm sulking like a whiny puppy when .... in total disbelief .. I'm staring at my wallet on the ground. I can see some greenbacks visible on the edge. Open it up and all my cards are in there. Something to be said about carrying a distressed brown Indian embossed wallet that blends into the dirt and brown grass near a wood pile? BAM BABY!. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find it. My guess is everyone was pumped and focused on exiting this area and not looking down . I thought this was going to be an expensive day. Now, I'm back to smiling again and forgotten for now, how brutal that parade ride was just a few hours earlier. Now, do I head back to Casino? No... I've got Peanut back at the house waiting for me.. and... those clouds are getting darker.
Short of riding through a tornado, there's not a lot that can dampen my spirits at this point. Still, South of me and West of me, the sky is friggn' dark. But between the two.... where I live.. looks .. like a possibility. At this point , I'm naive enough to think I can stay dry. Foolish enough to take a route that has twistie two lanes. I'm trying to make the best of it. But mother nature has other ideas. Soon, I'm donning my rain gear. The wetter it gets I start changing my route. When I hit Sulphur Springs, I even jumped on the Interstate, got it up to 80 in the rain, outrunning the crap that was worse trying to catch me. With soaked pants from ankle to knees .. .. I'm home. Another one in the history books. Normally, this is where I'd say say .. " I'LL NEVER DO ANOTHER OF THESE !" .. but .. I know that's not true. So instead, a Lessons' Learned. Lets' call it "Ricky's Perfect Parade"
Do it right!
Assembly area. Single area, large enough to accommodate the bikes. This ensures the group can exit smoothly and continue as a true group/ parade.
Route: Choose a route that allows folks to actually ride, without needed to stop. A route where folks won't end up walking their bikes through it. Use the local police force. Worst case position folks to block traffic that are NOT on bikes ( I'm not sure if this is legal, but just making a point on blocking traffic). Back in '16 my Brother 'Dick' designed the route and it flowed excellent for the small number of bikes.. Same Start / Stop point
Destination: Pick a spot with a similar size lot you started from, or .. return to origination point.
Brand of Bike. If this is a specific brand related ride, do not let others in. Sorry if your wife or hubby or best friend rides a diff' brand. Get over it. If the purpose of the ride is to promote a specific brand or set a record... then ONLY that brand should be riding in it.. period.. front .. back .. whatever. No 'nice guy' and say .. ."others can ride in the rear". Tough Shit. Not an option.
Length of Ride. Here's the tough one. Longer is better. No one wants to putt around for 2.5 miles!!! IMHO.. what they should have done yesterday was taken us ALL the way ... to the casino .. in a 50mph Parade. That would have been a thousand times better than the way it went down. I understand the reasons not to.. but in this specific case.. they f'd up. We should have. And had we.... the final tally results probably would have been different.
Summary
So ... the what 'everyone' wants to know. Did we get the new record? No. There were between 1900 and 2000 bikes that rolled through the checkpoint legitimately. What I don't know as I write this is... how many HDs started. How many were actually, physically in the area that should have been counted from Point A to Point B. In other words.. before the first bike left.. did we have 2405 on the run? What I do know is... people got pissed and pulled off. People broke down due to the route induced heat issues. And... as I'd said before... some dumb-asses on other brands worked their way into the mix. So even if the record had been 'officially reached' yesterday .. in my mind .. .it wouldn't be valid. That all being said, this was a great time for many. I actually had more fun up until the actual ride, than I did during the ride. And most of all ... the funds go to the Combat Vets Motorcycle Association's National Scholarship Fund. That alone... $32k (!!!!) ...makes it all worthwhile.So .. never say never?
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