Compulsiveness

Back in my HS day, end of my Freshman year, I was jumped by two Samoan Seniors.  I lived in Hawaii, and this was "Haole Day" .  Basically, these racist POSs double teamed someone 40 lbs and three years younger, than either of them.   When it was over, I had a broken jaw in two places, dropped from 155 to 135, and ... was shook to the core.  My jaw was wired up for six weeks and I was on a liquid diet.  I was past lean.  I was friggn' skinny at 6'0.   That summer, I began working out, religiously and got back to 155 and  then put on twenty pounds of additional muscle before heading back to school for my Sophomore year.  Then, after a year of Akido and Kenpo Karate, I had found my mojo, my self esteem. I was back, and better than ever.  I found the gym and I loved it.  For the next twenty years, the gym was always on my mind.  Along the way, I got into a few low level amateur bodybuilding contests and found myself consumed with it all.  Worked out six days a week, two to three hours a day, searched for gyms when I traveled on vacation .  Loved it all.  I was .. .....compulsive.

Upon retiring from the USAF, I immersed myself into Storage Networking ( Data Storage ... Computer Geek crap ).  I lived it.  Breathed it .  It consumed me.  For the next ten years, it was ME.  I loved it.   The good news is, it's what I did (still do) for a living and it produced financial results.  Still... I was compulsive.

In 2005, I 'discovered' NASCAR.  Couldn't get enough of it.  The 4-5 day parties at the tracks.  Multiple races a year.  The weekly races.  All the sports' paraphernalia.  Bought die cast cars.  T Shirts.  Hats. Cups. Jackets . ... you name it!   Completely consumed.  Ten years of ..... compulsiveness.  And I love it.

I've been riding since 1983.  Bought my first Kawi' 440.  Got me into it all. Year later, Kawi' 1000.  Few years later, Suzuki 1100.  After a few years hiatus, picked up a Kawi Vulcan Classic 1500.  Loved that biked.  Hell, loved 'em all.   But, I never had the bug. You know, the want, the need, to ride.. and ride..and RIDE!   I'd ride to the store.  Ride to a friends house.  Buddy and I might ride a few miles here, few miles there.  Twice over the years did 400mi+ trips, but they were exceptions,not the norm.  Then, in 2009 I made the decision to buy an Indian Motorcycle.  But, the agreement between wife and I, Vulcan had to go.  Only one bike.  So, I sold this to my buddy and got the Indian.  My buddy and I started riding together, often. Then we met another couple, and the six of us rode. Then my neighbor got a bike; eight of us riding.  Life was ( is ) good!.  Then , it began.  Got a second bike.  Signs for the garage.  Some models.  Another bike.  Indian related paraphernalia.   The compulsiveness kicked in.  Seven years later, I look up and the garage is an over the top man cave, with bikes and more bikes in there.  I've become fanatical about Indian Motorcycles.  Motorcycles in general.   I LOVE IT. I LOVE THEM!.  And .............I'm compulsive.

Now, we are back to square one.  But, wondering , how do I kick off that compulsiveness in a positive way, to keep my focus in the gym?  How to do I coerce myself into discovering gyms when on the road for business trips?  Basically, can I brainwash myself back into being a Gym Fanatic, like I was in the old days?  I'm trying.  I'm pushing... I'm hoping.

Compulsiveness.   It defines me.  Has been my key to success to date.   But, I've never intentionally searched for it.  It found me.  For now it eludes me.  But, I'm looking for it.  Searching for it... Hoping.........