The Juice....
Them: "you got this way because of the juice ..." .
Me: ".. ummmm .. no"
I've wrote about some of this over the years........ Back in 9th grade, I got the shit beat out of me by two seniors. My jaw was broken in two places, wired up for almost two months, and I went from a skinny 150 to 135 before that summer began. I was the target of two racists, while living in Hawaii. That moment would affect me the rest of my life.....
That summer I began working out. I used a routine I got out of the comic books for $5.00. I wish I'd kept that for my archive. It was a 12 week program that I grew to 175 by the end of summer with. From the time those braces came off, to the beginning of the next school year , I'd put on 40 lbs. Was that 40 lbs of muscle? Well, common sense says 'no', that's almost impossible. But I was still lean and mean, so ...... pretty damned close. In addition, I began taking Akido, and then Kenpo Karate. Before, I'd always been in a lot of fights and scuffles since probably first grade, but I was never a boxer type; never any training. Point being, I went back to school trying to put that incident behind me. I was now bigger more prepared. But, it'd be years before I succeeded in putting that incident behind me.
By the time I'd gotten to my senior year I was playing football at a lean 195 lbs. I was working out in the basement with some York barbells my dad had got me, and at the school gym when possible, but I wasn't making the gains I should have. I attribute this now to just bad training habits and poor nutrition. But the good news, I was still working the core, keeping progress moving along as slow as it might be. At age 19, I went into the military at a weight of 186. I wasn't working out, eating like crap and was just getting by. Basic training was a mere six weeks and I suddenly had access to 3 meals a day, and could eat as much as I wanted; sort of. You had to eat as a flight, and since I was the Dorm Chief ( in charge of the 50 guys of my flight ) I was the last to eat. But, if I wolfed it all down, and jumped back in line and wolfed it again, I could get two meals in me. We were doing PT ( physical training) but this is the USAF, and it was a joke. So, every night I'd do several sets of pushups, 75-100 each, to push myself a lil harder. By the time I got out of Basic, I was a solid 206 lbs.
Anyone that's been in the military knows, it's a place where boys become men and the trials and tribulations usually include alcohol; lots of it. I was no different than many and spent more than my fair time pounding beers down with my buddies. At the same time, I was working out in the gym hard core. But, the problem is if you aren't giving your body the nutrition it needs and requires, you're spinning your wheels. I remember back in '82 weighing around 220 but for first time in my life I had 'love handles'. They should have been called 'beer handles' because that's how I'd gotten them. I mean I was in the gym 6 to 7 days a week, lifting like a wild man .. but... not making real progress. But damned if we didn't kick it up downtown on the weekends. Great memories, but what a waste of fucking effort.
It's 1983 and I'm in retraining status and headed to Biloxi Mississippi for 11 months of Electronic Warfare training. I've recently gotten married so I'm eating 'better' but damned we are still kicking it up and having a good time. I've been training harder and my weight is up to 235 and I'm feeling good overall. Soon after arriving, there is a big bodybuilding contest in town which I opted to attend. Back then ( hell, even now ) I liked to wear tank tops. After living in the tropics, it was in my blood and the norm for me. I found myself mesmerized by these guys on stage , most having a level of fitness I'd never achieved. Several times during the contest, I wandered off to the bathroom or the front area to grab a bite/drink, and the weirdest thing happened. I was asked several times if I was competing. At first I thought I was getting messed with , but realized soon enough they were serious. Of course I wasn't competing. I wasn't at that level. But, this wasn't a professional event. It was a regional Amateur event and I quickly realized many of those guys on stage were smaller.. much smaller than I ; but they were cut and looked awesome. Got to tell you , that day screwed with my brain. Enough, to convince myself to take it all to the next level.
I'm weighing 235, fairly lean and after that day as a spectator at a contest, I do lil digging and see another one is coming up in 3 months; The Southern States Bodybuilding championships.. or .. something like that. It's a regional amateur event. Actually, it was probably the wrong thing to enter, but I was clueless and figured I'd jump in . So, the training began. I've already been riding a bike 6 miles a day ( to / from Tech School and to / from the gym daily). I've been lifting pretty good, but my diet was not the best. I'm a party boy at school and we're getting our groove on 4-7 nights a week. I mean, I go to school six hours a day, five days a week and I'm on SSgt Pay, living in base housing. So, for the next three months, I go to a had core bodybuilding diet, BUT .. i flip my drink of choice from beer to wine. I remember reading an article prior to this time frame where Arnold said something to the effect of " you never see a fat wino. Just these guys with veins". Hey, sounded good to me, so I ran with it. So for the next three months I'm a wild man, eating maybe.. 2000 or 2500 calories a day, tons of water.. and in the evenings... wine. Well, 10 weeks in, i'm down to 210 lbs, and that weekend I see a "Mr Biloxi Beach" contest is coming up. I'm in the best shape of my life and decide to jump in. In reality, I'm already over dieted, not getting enough calories, but my waist down to 32/34 and I'm ripped. I wish I still had those pics, because I walked into the event which was more of a beach contest than a bodybuilding contest and knocked it out of the ball park. I won a trip to an All Inclusive in Mexico, but chose to take a cash payout instead since I was in the military, broke and in school. With my new win, I trained and dieted even harder for the event in two weeks. Lets just say, it was a disaster. Two weeks later I was down to 198, looked 'skinny' and was 'smooth' (a term used for my skin was holding water). This was a problem I'd have over the next 5 or so years. Before a contest, I've always held water I believe due to nerves. Anyways, I get on stage as a newbie in the novice Heavyweight class and get outgunned by the rest. I look at that pic today and I feel i was emaciated looking. Now here's the interesting part, and it's at the core of competitive bodybuilding. Your muscles are something like 70 or 80% water. The trick in a contest is to get max water in your muscle, minimum in your skin and it gives one a big , ripped look. Well, after that contest I went back to normal eating feeling defeated after getting my ass kicked. And then it happened. One week later, I'm weighing 220 lbs and look ... . well... awesome. I believe had I walked on stage like that I'd have taken 2nd or 3rd. My muscles had filled out, I'd gotten a more ripped look and I was now.. in the BEST shape of my life. Now, why don't I think I could have taken first? Why I'm not sure about 2nd place? I'm pretty sure most of the other contestants were taking steroids. They were on 'the juice'. I've learned over the years to recognize the look. The symptoms. And, some of these clowns openly admitted it if asked. But I was 100% natural at 220lbs, 34" waist , 6'4". Bam!
My next duty assignment was to Texas for yet another year of Tech School. I'd become an even bigger party boy, and at the same time, spending even more time in the gym; 2-3 hours a day , six to seven days a week. I'm getting stronger, getting bigger. I competed in a couple of power lifting contests and a couple of bodybuilding contests. Along the way I won the 'best chest in the West" at a bar. The guy I beat out was black, I was white, he was on the juice, I was tall, lean and ripped. I told him afterwards he should have won. It was in a country bar ( you figure it out ) and he was thicker and more muscular. In any case, i took my win which was a trophy ( have no idea what ever happened to it) and my prize which was a trip for two to Vegas! My roommate and I had a blast out there, btw! Over that year in Texas I became the biggest and strongest I'd ever been. But, my nutrition/diet SUCKED. I was partying at the clubs EVERY f'ing night like a wild-man. And in the gym I was over training. In retrospect, I've always wondered how far I would have .. could have .. gone had I had it all together. Good Diet, Better Training, More Sleep. Oh well.... when I left for NE, I was benching big weights, decent squats and deadlifts, and .. I was on fire. I don't remember what I weighed when I left but I believe i was about 240 lbs. I felt invincible.
Sometime in '84 I'd purchased a Kawasaki 440LTD bike; my first. When I moved (PCS'd) to NE I had it shipped with all my household goods and drove up there in my POV. I hadn't been in NE very long when I took the bike out on a chilly morning in Feb of '85. I was coming off the interstate onto a major road ( Dodge St ). While coming around the final curve, I had time to accelerate onto the road as a traffic light turned green for the 3 lanes of traffic I was merging into. About that time , all hell broke loose. As I grabbed the throttle the front tire hit a lot of sand and the bike came out from underneath me. I remember counting the flips /roll, I took. 1 .. 2... 3 .. and I'm laying on my back. Luckily for me I had a full face helmet on .. gloves.. winter jacket ... as I'm laying there listening to tires screeching and cars attempting to avoid me, laying in the middle of Dodge St. I remember checking that my toes would move.. my fingers.. legs .. arms.. someone helped me up and I picked up my bike, with mangled handlebars. Someone helped me bend them back into a usable form and I headed home... and .. my shoulder hurt. Bad.
Before that day, I was 'living' in the gym. I'd warm up with 225 lbs for my bench press, doing 12 + reps like it was nothing; felt light. I was getting in crazy , awesome shoulder workouts. But, now everything changed. I couldn't do 135 on the bench without a searing pain. So, I worked around it all, but i was going backwards. Getting weaker. No matter what, my bench was 'gone'. I kept squatting and a few other things, but your shoulder is used to some degree in most upper body exercises. I was frustrated. Around this time frame, a buddy of mine was starting to put on some serious size. I'd also made some friends in the gym who were.. well.. f'ing monsters. I knew they were juicing but it didn't matter, I didn't care. Wasn't for me. But my buddy who used to be skinny was gaining on me slowly. Somewhere along the line, he told me what he was doing. Recommended it to me. Told me it'd 'fix my shoulder'. I'm thinking BS. Somewhere along the way, the monster dude told me the same thing. I'm now wondering. Well, lets just jump right into the point of this post. I gave in. I did a six week cycle against my better judgement. Guess what. My shoulder was no longer bothering me. I was able to start benching heavy again eventually. I never truly got back where I was, but I could now work out. I pushed back on it all after that. I didn't gain any size from it all, but I was 'healed!". Well, the next year a body building contest pops up.. actually two of them, one week apart. One of the guys I"m working with tells me we need to get in . I'm about 245 lbs or so, love handles , not on my game and he convinces me if we train together , we've got 12 weeks to get in shape. Problem is , he's looking pretty good while I'm soft. But then, he tells me his secret. He's doing the same thing I'd done the year before and convinces me it's worth it. Sadly, didn't take much convincing and i decided to do a cycle to help. In the big picture, it allowed me to 'over diet' and not lose muscle mass as quickly as I might have otherwise. And, it kept my shoulder healthy. Well, fast forward 12 weeks, and I hit show #1 at about 216 lbs. I don't win, but I hold my own. One week later , show #2 and I'm at 218lbs. I've relaxed a little and less stress . I've filled out. But something is obvious to me and in true hypocrisy, it's apparent to me the top guys are seriously on the juice. Not one cycle, but ... truly doing some serious 'roids. I'm pissed I even did what I did, simply out of taking a short cut to allow me to diet harder. I didn't like what I saw, I didn't want to go down that path.
Well, in true normal fashion, one week after the contest I'm eating and drinking .. and... I'm up to 225 lbs and .. I believe I could have won of them in this shape after a week of eating steaks, pizza and beers allowing my muscles to hydrate. At this point, I'm convinced I've got to someway somehow figure out how to zero in on my contest diet correctly so I'm at peak performance the day of the contest, not a week or two later. I'm starting to get fanatical about all this , spending too much time thinking about it. I so badly want to go to the next level in the sport, in this phase of my life, but one thing has become obvious to me. To do that, I'm going to have to go down a certain path. Around this time frame , several things are happening. A buddy of mine is telling me quit 'thinking about it' and just do it. Pursue bodybuilding and do what it takes to get to my goals. Dedicate myself. But we've got an assignment to Panama. And I'm thinking it might be easier to acquire the 'means' to do this down there, if I go balls to the wall, 100% into this. I'm on pins and needles because this goes against everything I 'believe' in. Up to this time frame, I've achieved everything on my own. Yes, I used them to 'fix' my shoulder'. Yes, I used them to allow me to diet faster, once. But all that muscle over a decade up to that point, was 100% earned my my efforts in the gym. Then, the game changed. My decision was made for me. The military announced this was no an offense that would be illegal. I suppose it was before, but now the military had come out and made an official statement. That was enough for me. Decision made. Not an option; it never should have been.
Off to Panama we go in mid '87 and I'm back in the gym and i've got a lifestyle change. Back in NE, we'd been living a party lifestyle . Kicking it up almost every night, but working out in the gym 2-3 hours a day. I was burning the candle on both ends. The wife and I both were. But now, I was off to a new assignment and a new environment. For the next three years, we'd rarely go out and kick it up. Instead we focused on the gym. We focused on our new family ( my daughter was born here ), larger family. We enjoyed the tropical outdoor lifestyle. And I get bigger and stronger. But, not without a serious bump in the road. In Jan of '88 while squatting I injured my back. I was going heavy, pumping out serious reps when on the 8th rep my back gave up the ghost. This was the beginning of a life long injury that has haunted me to this day. In the early days I was still able to work around it. But as I've gotten older, it takes less and less to trigger it. Still, I was able to build up my size , with my weight in the 240s and a 34" waist. I was on top of the world and living the dream. I was still over-training, but my diet was a lot better and I was living a healthy lifestyle. The next 1/2 decade would be consumed with work, productive training, recurring injuries. But, I'd consistently be in the gym. Eventually my weight would settle in around 250.
Around '95 we moved back to Texas and the next phase of my life would begin; desk jockey. The first 4 weren't too bad. I was still in the USAF on my last enlistment and we'd sneak off to the gym most days over lunch. I'm pushing 'okay' weights but nothing like previously. My mind is on work. And sadly, I'd become a 'gamer'. I was hardcore into DOOM, QUAKE , and Duke Nukem. These were 'first person' shooter video games and I was hooked; hooked badly. It was draining my energy due to lack of sleep, I wasn't giving 100% at work and my gym time suffered. I don't remember exactly when I backed off playing the video game BS, but it was a year or two before I'd retired. Work was stressful, I was putting in serous hours, and I was kicking it up with the boys on Friday nights when they'd come in TDY which didn't sit well with mama, rightfully so. My weight was creeping up. My waist line was creeping up. My retirement was creeping up. Next thing you know, it's Sep '99, I'm 263 lbs, my 36" slacks are tight around the waist and ... I'm now ... retired from the USAF. I've been a desk jockey for the last 4 years ...
Well, it's 2017 and I've been a desk jockey for those 18 years after retiring. I've got my own home gym. In the early years, I worked out often while on the road but that has slowed down. I get out in my own gym in spurts until one of my old injuries sidelines me.. few months go by, and eventually I get back in there and we repeat the cycle again.. and again .. and again.
Over the last 43 years, I've spent a LOT of time moving iron. I'd like to think I've figured out how to build muscle w/o over-training. I've got a good handle on nutrition, though I rarely follow my own advice. I like to throw back a cold one as much as I ever have, but I do it responsibly in comparison to the old days. Well .. usually. But, my weight is up. somewhere around a dozen years ago, I hit the 300lb mark. I was working out hard when that happened, but the waist line was proof it wasn't all muscle. Hell, a LOT of it isn't muscle. Today, my weight fluctuates between 290 and 315 depending on how much I'm working out, paying attention to diet, etc. That 25 lb delta is water and fat. The question becomes ... and I wonder about it sometimes and ask myself .. how much is 'muscle?". In other words. More importantly, if I were to compete tomorrow in a Novice Masters class for bodybuilding, how much would I weigh? I don't know. I'm guessing I'd compete somewhere between 230 and 240. I've put on more muscle over the years; and fat. The trick is to lose the fat and maintain your muscle mass. One thing I do know is I've put on 100+lbs of muscle mass since the day I first began lifting. I did that myself. I did that naturally.
Over the years I've watched guys use a little of this and a little of that. In the early days, I remember watching one guy using Testosterone injections. He went from a soft and fat guy, to pushing some serous weight and gaining serious muscle in six months. Was sort of mind boggling to see. Sort of pissed me off! I'd spent years progressing and growing slowly , and he'd done in six months what took me 10x that. But then he quit lifting and ... ended up back where he started. I've seen guys used HGH. I was pretty sure they'd both done something, but they 'looked different' than they guys using steroids. They didn't get that 'primal' look. But damned they were big. Then, months go by ... maybe years and you see them .. and think .. WTF? They've shrunk. Look 'normal'. Then.. months.. year.. and .. they are huge again. Yeah... HGH . Point being , the they didn't create that muscle via pain and sweat, the correct way ...so .. easy come, easy go.
The latest trend is guys getting Testosterone injections or pellets. I know several folks down this path. There are multiple reasons for taking this. Quality of Life, low teste' causing sexual issues, etc. Some guys take 'em and move on normally, other guys leverage this to get their bodies in shape. Goes to reason that if you get your nutrition right you'll lean out. Or if you get in the gym and push yourself, you'll get some benefits in muscle growth. But, what happens when they come off these? What happens if they never take it again? And from what I see, from what I've read, this isn't being done via cycles correctly. I have to admit, at 57 years of age I'm tempted to go into the doc' and get a test telling my what my 'T levels' are. Then, getting pharmaceuticals to get me where I should be, assuming it's needed. I don't think I need anything, but at the same time I know my metabolism has slowed down. My waistline is .. well .. not on the lean side. What's the fix? Testosterone injections? HGH? A mix? I know this has become big business... but........ but .. I earned all this . And yes, I earned all that fat too. But the size I carry, the muscle under that layer of fat , I earned. I earned it all the hard way.
A buddy of mine made a comment to me the other day. Apparently it bothered me a notch, because it's what prompted this blog post. We were talking about working out, giving it one last go ( we're both in our late 50s), putting some muscle on and getting lean .. while we still can. Somewhere in that conversation a comment was made that we got here with a lil help. Huh? I asked for clarification. He'd admitted to doing some things during the old football days. Apparently, much of his team did. It was the norm. Injections with the various things. Got them big, kept them playing. I was like "ummmmmm .. no. That's not how I gained my size'. Problem is, I 'd told part of the story that I mentioned here earlier and it's then assumed that's how one gained their size. And that, is what pisses me off. It's tainted the journey. Makes it all questionable to some. Before today, less than a handful of folks were in the know. Now, I don't care. I'd rather tell the facts than have some assume them wrongly.
Here's what I do know. I was my strongest back in '84 .In '83 and '84 I was in killer competitive shape that I replicated a few years later. In '88 and '89 I was working around my back injury and pushing serious weights like I'd be back in '84. Over the two decades I'm guessing I put on 10-20 lbs of muscle. Well, I'm pretty sure. Problem is .. it's buried behind a layer (or two?) of fat. But, when I get back into the gym, within one month I regain any size that I'd 'lost'. Why? Because I never lost it. Muscle has a memory. And when you have mature muscle, it doesn't go away. Unless one does some crazy diet, your body doesn't burn off it's muscle. And, contrary to popular belief, muscle does not turn into fat. Fat doesn't turn into muscle. Yet, many people still think this. Sorry, doesn't work that way. Hard earned muscle is there, waiting for us to use it. And it responds accordingly.
Now... I think I'll push away from this desk and head out to the gym. I'm feeling guilty. Time to go wake up some muscle.
Me: ".. ummmm .. no"
I've wrote about some of this over the years........ Back in 9th grade, I got the shit beat out of me by two seniors. My jaw was broken in two places, wired up for almost two months, and I went from a skinny 150 to 135 before that summer began. I was the target of two racists, while living in Hawaii. That moment would affect me the rest of my life.....
That summer I began working out. I used a routine I got out of the comic books for $5.00. I wish I'd kept that for my archive. It was a 12 week program that I grew to 175 by the end of summer with. From the time those braces came off, to the beginning of the next school year , I'd put on 40 lbs. Was that 40 lbs of muscle? Well, common sense says 'no', that's almost impossible. But I was still lean and mean, so ...... pretty damned close. In addition, I began taking Akido, and then Kenpo Karate. Before, I'd always been in a lot of fights and scuffles since probably first grade, but I was never a boxer type; never any training. Point being, I went back to school trying to put that incident behind me. I was now bigger more prepared. But, it'd be years before I succeeded in putting that incident behind me.
By the time I'd gotten to my senior year I was playing football at a lean 195 lbs. I was working out in the basement with some York barbells my dad had got me, and at the school gym when possible, but I wasn't making the gains I should have. I attribute this now to just bad training habits and poor nutrition. But the good news, I was still working the core, keeping progress moving along as slow as it might be. At age 19, I went into the military at a weight of 186. I wasn't working out, eating like crap and was just getting by. Basic training was a mere six weeks and I suddenly had access to 3 meals a day, and could eat as much as I wanted; sort of. You had to eat as a flight, and since I was the Dorm Chief ( in charge of the 50 guys of my flight ) I was the last to eat. But, if I wolfed it all down, and jumped back in line and wolfed it again, I could get two meals in me. We were doing PT ( physical training) but this is the USAF, and it was a joke. So, every night I'd do several sets of pushups, 75-100 each, to push myself a lil harder. By the time I got out of Basic, I was a solid 206 lbs.
Anyone that's been in the military knows, it's a place where boys become men and the trials and tribulations usually include alcohol; lots of it. I was no different than many and spent more than my fair time pounding beers down with my buddies. At the same time, I was working out in the gym hard core. But, the problem is if you aren't giving your body the nutrition it needs and requires, you're spinning your wheels. I remember back in '82 weighing around 220 but for first time in my life I had 'love handles'. They should have been called 'beer handles' because that's how I'd gotten them. I mean I was in the gym 6 to 7 days a week, lifting like a wild man .. but... not making real progress. But damned if we didn't kick it up downtown on the weekends. Great memories, but what a waste of fucking effort.
It's 1983 and I'm in retraining status and headed to Biloxi Mississippi for 11 months of Electronic Warfare training. I've recently gotten married so I'm eating 'better' but damned we are still kicking it up and having a good time. I've been training harder and my weight is up to 235 and I'm feeling good overall. Soon after arriving, there is a big bodybuilding contest in town which I opted to attend. Back then ( hell, even now ) I liked to wear tank tops. After living in the tropics, it was in my blood and the norm for me. I found myself mesmerized by these guys on stage , most having a level of fitness I'd never achieved. Several times during the contest, I wandered off to the bathroom or the front area to grab a bite/drink, and the weirdest thing happened. I was asked several times if I was competing. At first I thought I was getting messed with , but realized soon enough they were serious. Of course I wasn't competing. I wasn't at that level. But, this wasn't a professional event. It was a regional Amateur event and I quickly realized many of those guys on stage were smaller.. much smaller than I ; but they were cut and looked awesome. Got to tell you , that day screwed with my brain. Enough, to convince myself to take it all to the next level.
I'm weighing 235, fairly lean and after that day as a spectator at a contest, I do lil digging and see another one is coming up in 3 months; The Southern States Bodybuilding championships.. or .. something like that. It's a regional amateur event. Actually, it was probably the wrong thing to enter, but I was clueless and figured I'd jump in . So, the training began. I've already been riding a bike 6 miles a day ( to / from Tech School and to / from the gym daily). I've been lifting pretty good, but my diet was not the best. I'm a party boy at school and we're getting our groove on 4-7 nights a week. I mean, I go to school six hours a day, five days a week and I'm on SSgt Pay, living in base housing. So, for the next three months, I go to a had core bodybuilding diet, BUT .. i flip my drink of choice from beer to wine. I remember reading an article prior to this time frame where Arnold said something to the effect of " you never see a fat wino. Just these guys with veins". Hey, sounded good to me, so I ran with it. So for the next three months I'm a wild man, eating maybe.. 2000 or 2500 calories a day, tons of water.. and in the evenings... wine. Well, 10 weeks in, i'm down to 210 lbs, and that weekend I see a "Mr Biloxi Beach" contest is coming up. I'm in the best shape of my life and decide to jump in. In reality, I'm already over dieted, not getting enough calories, but my waist down to 32/34 and I'm ripped. I wish I still had those pics, because I walked into the event which was more of a beach contest than a bodybuilding contest and knocked it out of the ball park. I won a trip to an All Inclusive in Mexico, but chose to take a cash payout instead since I was in the military, broke and in school. With my new win, I trained and dieted even harder for the event in two weeks. Lets just say, it was a disaster. Two weeks later I was down to 198, looked 'skinny' and was 'smooth' (a term used for my skin was holding water). This was a problem I'd have over the next 5 or so years. Before a contest, I've always held water I believe due to nerves. Anyways, I get on stage as a newbie in the novice Heavyweight class and get outgunned by the rest. I look at that pic today and I feel i was emaciated looking. Now here's the interesting part, and it's at the core of competitive bodybuilding. Your muscles are something like 70 or 80% water. The trick in a contest is to get max water in your muscle, minimum in your skin and it gives one a big , ripped look. Well, after that contest I went back to normal eating feeling defeated after getting my ass kicked. And then it happened. One week later, I'm weighing 220 lbs and look ... . well... awesome. I believe had I walked on stage like that I'd have taken 2nd or 3rd. My muscles had filled out, I'd gotten a more ripped look and I was now.. in the BEST shape of my life. Now, why don't I think I could have taken first? Why I'm not sure about 2nd place? I'm pretty sure most of the other contestants were taking steroids. They were on 'the juice'. I've learned over the years to recognize the look. The symptoms. And, some of these clowns openly admitted it if asked. But I was 100% natural at 220lbs, 34" waist , 6'4". Bam!
My next duty assignment was to Texas for yet another year of Tech School. I'd become an even bigger party boy, and at the same time, spending even more time in the gym; 2-3 hours a day , six to seven days a week. I'm getting stronger, getting bigger. I competed in a couple of power lifting contests and a couple of bodybuilding contests. Along the way I won the 'best chest in the West" at a bar. The guy I beat out was black, I was white, he was on the juice, I was tall, lean and ripped. I told him afterwards he should have won. It was in a country bar ( you figure it out ) and he was thicker and more muscular. In any case, i took my win which was a trophy ( have no idea what ever happened to it) and my prize which was a trip for two to Vegas! My roommate and I had a blast out there, btw! Over that year in Texas I became the biggest and strongest I'd ever been. But, my nutrition/diet SUCKED. I was partying at the clubs EVERY f'ing night like a wild-man. And in the gym I was over training. In retrospect, I've always wondered how far I would have .. could have .. gone had I had it all together. Good Diet, Better Training, More Sleep. Oh well.... when I left for NE, I was benching big weights, decent squats and deadlifts, and .. I was on fire. I don't remember what I weighed when I left but I believe i was about 240 lbs. I felt invincible.
Sometime in '84 I'd purchased a Kawasaki 440LTD bike; my first. When I moved (PCS'd) to NE I had it shipped with all my household goods and drove up there in my POV. I hadn't been in NE very long when I took the bike out on a chilly morning in Feb of '85. I was coming off the interstate onto a major road ( Dodge St ). While coming around the final curve, I had time to accelerate onto the road as a traffic light turned green for the 3 lanes of traffic I was merging into. About that time , all hell broke loose. As I grabbed the throttle the front tire hit a lot of sand and the bike came out from underneath me. I remember counting the flips /roll, I took. 1 .. 2... 3 .. and I'm laying on my back. Luckily for me I had a full face helmet on .. gloves.. winter jacket ... as I'm laying there listening to tires screeching and cars attempting to avoid me, laying in the middle of Dodge St. I remember checking that my toes would move.. my fingers.. legs .. arms.. someone helped me up and I picked up my bike, with mangled handlebars. Someone helped me bend them back into a usable form and I headed home... and .. my shoulder hurt. Bad.
Before that day, I was 'living' in the gym. I'd warm up with 225 lbs for my bench press, doing 12 + reps like it was nothing; felt light. I was getting in crazy , awesome shoulder workouts. But, now everything changed. I couldn't do 135 on the bench without a searing pain. So, I worked around it all, but i was going backwards. Getting weaker. No matter what, my bench was 'gone'. I kept squatting and a few other things, but your shoulder is used to some degree in most upper body exercises. I was frustrated. Around this time frame, a buddy of mine was starting to put on some serious size. I'd also made some friends in the gym who were.. well.. f'ing monsters. I knew they were juicing but it didn't matter, I didn't care. Wasn't for me. But my buddy who used to be skinny was gaining on me slowly. Somewhere along the line, he told me what he was doing. Recommended it to me. Told me it'd 'fix my shoulder'. I'm thinking BS. Somewhere along the way, the monster dude told me the same thing. I'm now wondering. Well, lets just jump right into the point of this post. I gave in. I did a six week cycle against my better judgement. Guess what. My shoulder was no longer bothering me. I was able to start benching heavy again eventually. I never truly got back where I was, but I could now work out. I pushed back on it all after that. I didn't gain any size from it all, but I was 'healed!". Well, the next year a body building contest pops up.. actually two of them, one week apart. One of the guys I"m working with tells me we need to get in . I'm about 245 lbs or so, love handles , not on my game and he convinces me if we train together , we've got 12 weeks to get in shape. Problem is , he's looking pretty good while I'm soft. But then, he tells me his secret. He's doing the same thing I'd done the year before and convinces me it's worth it. Sadly, didn't take much convincing and i decided to do a cycle to help. In the big picture, it allowed me to 'over diet' and not lose muscle mass as quickly as I might have otherwise. And, it kept my shoulder healthy. Well, fast forward 12 weeks, and I hit show #1 at about 216 lbs. I don't win, but I hold my own. One week later , show #2 and I'm at 218lbs. I've relaxed a little and less stress . I've filled out. But something is obvious to me and in true hypocrisy, it's apparent to me the top guys are seriously on the juice. Not one cycle, but ... truly doing some serious 'roids. I'm pissed I even did what I did, simply out of taking a short cut to allow me to diet harder. I didn't like what I saw, I didn't want to go down that path.
Well, in true normal fashion, one week after the contest I'm eating and drinking .. and... I'm up to 225 lbs and .. I believe I could have won of them in this shape after a week of eating steaks, pizza and beers allowing my muscles to hydrate. At this point, I'm convinced I've got to someway somehow figure out how to zero in on my contest diet correctly so I'm at peak performance the day of the contest, not a week or two later. I'm starting to get fanatical about all this , spending too much time thinking about it. I so badly want to go to the next level in the sport, in this phase of my life, but one thing has become obvious to me. To do that, I'm going to have to go down a certain path. Around this time frame , several things are happening. A buddy of mine is telling me quit 'thinking about it' and just do it. Pursue bodybuilding and do what it takes to get to my goals. Dedicate myself. But we've got an assignment to Panama. And I'm thinking it might be easier to acquire the 'means' to do this down there, if I go balls to the wall, 100% into this. I'm on pins and needles because this goes against everything I 'believe' in. Up to this time frame, I've achieved everything on my own. Yes, I used them to 'fix' my shoulder'. Yes, I used them to allow me to diet faster, once. But all that muscle over a decade up to that point, was 100% earned my my efforts in the gym. Then, the game changed. My decision was made for me. The military announced this was no an offense that would be illegal. I suppose it was before, but now the military had come out and made an official statement. That was enough for me. Decision made. Not an option; it never should have been.
Off to Panama we go in mid '87 and I'm back in the gym and i've got a lifestyle change. Back in NE, we'd been living a party lifestyle . Kicking it up almost every night, but working out in the gym 2-3 hours a day. I was burning the candle on both ends. The wife and I both were. But now, I was off to a new assignment and a new environment. For the next three years, we'd rarely go out and kick it up. Instead we focused on the gym. We focused on our new family ( my daughter was born here ), larger family. We enjoyed the tropical outdoor lifestyle. And I get bigger and stronger. But, not without a serious bump in the road. In Jan of '88 while squatting I injured my back. I was going heavy, pumping out serious reps when on the 8th rep my back gave up the ghost. This was the beginning of a life long injury that has haunted me to this day. In the early days I was still able to work around it. But as I've gotten older, it takes less and less to trigger it. Still, I was able to build up my size , with my weight in the 240s and a 34" waist. I was on top of the world and living the dream. I was still over-training, but my diet was a lot better and I was living a healthy lifestyle. The next 1/2 decade would be consumed with work, productive training, recurring injuries. But, I'd consistently be in the gym. Eventually my weight would settle in around 250.
Around '95 we moved back to Texas and the next phase of my life would begin; desk jockey. The first 4 weren't too bad. I was still in the USAF on my last enlistment and we'd sneak off to the gym most days over lunch. I'm pushing 'okay' weights but nothing like previously. My mind is on work. And sadly, I'd become a 'gamer'. I was hardcore into DOOM, QUAKE , and Duke Nukem. These were 'first person' shooter video games and I was hooked; hooked badly. It was draining my energy due to lack of sleep, I wasn't giving 100% at work and my gym time suffered. I don't remember exactly when I backed off playing the video game BS, but it was a year or two before I'd retired. Work was stressful, I was putting in serous hours, and I was kicking it up with the boys on Friday nights when they'd come in TDY which didn't sit well with mama, rightfully so. My weight was creeping up. My waist line was creeping up. My retirement was creeping up. Next thing you know, it's Sep '99, I'm 263 lbs, my 36" slacks are tight around the waist and ... I'm now ... retired from the USAF. I've been a desk jockey for the last 4 years ...
Well, it's 2017 and I've been a desk jockey for those 18 years after retiring. I've got my own home gym. In the early years, I worked out often while on the road but that has slowed down. I get out in my own gym in spurts until one of my old injuries sidelines me.. few months go by, and eventually I get back in there and we repeat the cycle again.. and again .. and again.
Over the last 43 years, I've spent a LOT of time moving iron. I'd like to think I've figured out how to build muscle w/o over-training. I've got a good handle on nutrition, though I rarely follow my own advice. I like to throw back a cold one as much as I ever have, but I do it responsibly in comparison to the old days. Well .. usually. But, my weight is up. somewhere around a dozen years ago, I hit the 300lb mark. I was working out hard when that happened, but the waist line was proof it wasn't all muscle. Hell, a LOT of it isn't muscle. Today, my weight fluctuates between 290 and 315 depending on how much I'm working out, paying attention to diet, etc. That 25 lb delta is water and fat. The question becomes ... and I wonder about it sometimes and ask myself .. how much is 'muscle?". In other words. More importantly, if I were to compete tomorrow in a Novice Masters class for bodybuilding, how much would I weigh? I don't know. I'm guessing I'd compete somewhere between 230 and 240. I've put on more muscle over the years; and fat. The trick is to lose the fat and maintain your muscle mass. One thing I do know is I've put on 100+lbs of muscle mass since the day I first began lifting. I did that myself. I did that naturally.
Over the years I've watched guys use a little of this and a little of that. In the early days, I remember watching one guy using Testosterone injections. He went from a soft and fat guy, to pushing some serous weight and gaining serious muscle in six months. Was sort of mind boggling to see. Sort of pissed me off! I'd spent years progressing and growing slowly , and he'd done in six months what took me 10x that. But then he quit lifting and ... ended up back where he started. I've seen guys used HGH. I was pretty sure they'd both done something, but they 'looked different' than they guys using steroids. They didn't get that 'primal' look. But damned they were big. Then, months go by ... maybe years and you see them .. and think .. WTF? They've shrunk. Look 'normal'. Then.. months.. year.. and .. they are huge again. Yeah... HGH . Point being , the they didn't create that muscle via pain and sweat, the correct way ...so .. easy come, easy go.
The latest trend is guys getting Testosterone injections or pellets. I know several folks down this path. There are multiple reasons for taking this. Quality of Life, low teste' causing sexual issues, etc. Some guys take 'em and move on normally, other guys leverage this to get their bodies in shape. Goes to reason that if you get your nutrition right you'll lean out. Or if you get in the gym and push yourself, you'll get some benefits in muscle growth. But, what happens when they come off these? What happens if they never take it again? And from what I see, from what I've read, this isn't being done via cycles correctly. I have to admit, at 57 years of age I'm tempted to go into the doc' and get a test telling my what my 'T levels' are. Then, getting pharmaceuticals to get me where I should be, assuming it's needed. I don't think I need anything, but at the same time I know my metabolism has slowed down. My waistline is .. well .. not on the lean side. What's the fix? Testosterone injections? HGH? A mix? I know this has become big business... but........ but .. I earned all this . And yes, I earned all that fat too. But the size I carry, the muscle under that layer of fat , I earned. I earned it all the hard way.
A buddy of mine made a comment to me the other day. Apparently it bothered me a notch, because it's what prompted this blog post. We were talking about working out, giving it one last go ( we're both in our late 50s), putting some muscle on and getting lean .. while we still can. Somewhere in that conversation a comment was made that we got here with a lil help. Huh? I asked for clarification. He'd admitted to doing some things during the old football days. Apparently, much of his team did. It was the norm. Injections with the various things. Got them big, kept them playing. I was like "ummmmmm .. no. That's not how I gained my size'. Problem is, I 'd told part of the story that I mentioned here earlier and it's then assumed that's how one gained their size. And that, is what pisses me off. It's tainted the journey. Makes it all questionable to some. Before today, less than a handful of folks were in the know. Now, I don't care. I'd rather tell the facts than have some assume them wrongly.
Here's what I do know. I was my strongest back in '84 .In '83 and '84 I was in killer competitive shape that I replicated a few years later. In '88 and '89 I was working around my back injury and pushing serious weights like I'd be back in '84. Over the two decades I'm guessing I put on 10-20 lbs of muscle. Well, I'm pretty sure. Problem is .. it's buried behind a layer (or two?) of fat. But, when I get back into the gym, within one month I regain any size that I'd 'lost'. Why? Because I never lost it. Muscle has a memory. And when you have mature muscle, it doesn't go away. Unless one does some crazy diet, your body doesn't burn off it's muscle. And, contrary to popular belief, muscle does not turn into fat. Fat doesn't turn into muscle. Yet, many people still think this. Sorry, doesn't work that way. Hard earned muscle is there, waiting for us to use it. And it responds accordingly.
Now... I think I'll push away from this desk and head out to the gym. I'm feeling guilty. Time to go wake up some muscle.
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